Ashens
by alandoflimbo
Summary: Upon setting your eyes on the gorgeous Bucky Barnes for the first time, you refuse to look at anyone else. But with Bucky's mind still set on the past, and his unexplainable hate for you, things quickly fall apart and your lust quickly dissolves into hate. You are eventually sent on a mission together into the dystopian world of a post apocalyptic New York City. Eventual M
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! So I initially posted these two stories on Tumblr and AO3 and now I'm posting it on here as well just to widen my boundaries and all that she-bang. :) _This is Not a 40's fic._

 **Summary:** _Reader is recruited by the team. Upon setting her eyes on Bucky Barnes for the first time, she refuses to look at anyone else. But with Bucky's mind still set on Daisy, and his random unexplainable hate for this young girl, things quickly fall apart between them and her lust quickly dissolves into hate. They are eventually sent on a mission together in the dystopian world of a post apocalyptic New York City. Will Bucky's world continue to fall into ashes or will lust and love somehow find its way in? With the Avengers split and Bucky's team in nomad, the country has fallen into a dystopian state. Hydra is at its highest power, their rich and most powerful walking among the innocent with full control. Factions are created and chaos and war is among the good people. Cap's and Tony's team plan to take back the country. A mixture of Divergent/50 shades of grey vibe._

 **Pairing:** _Bucky/OC (reader)_

 **Rating:** _Very strong M._

* * *

Chapter One

* * *

 **1938, Brooklyn, New York**

There's an imminent smell of old wood garnish and pumpkin spice escaping a bright orange glow that flickered in the background. The odor was extremely strong, trickling through the thick and heavy air of the twelve by twelve room. There was a draft coming in through the window and it continued to help push the flame directly towards the center of the room- the scent marking anything in its direct path with a faint reminder of the close arrival of winter.

Though the glow of a candle was soothing, to many it was anything but pleasant; scented candles were a new thing and it was said to be something for the upcoming future generation.

The idea behind it was that it carried an artificial smell that held a memory you could carry along with you wherever you went. Its point was to remind you of where you were or what you wanted to be feeling, come the fitting setting. This specific pumpkin candle was to remind us all that it was a season of festivity and gathering, and much needed warmth. The other obvious reason being that pumpkin was delicious.

If you weren't eating it, you might as well be smelling it.

To most people it made no sense. Why would you want to smell something so delicious and not be able to physically consume it? It was a pleasant odor coming from an artificial chemical, completely contrary to what is expected. Put simply, it was an empty promise.

One more strong whiff of pumpkin, mixed together with the cozy sound of a crackle of fire, he blinks and Bucky is brought out of his daze. He's now entirely environmentally aware of his surroundings and sounds coming from additional places come into his perspective.

Within a moment's relapse, he chooses again to regain focus on the other specific sounds aside from the antagonizing fake fire, gazing his eyes over the pleasant words in front of him.

To his dismay, they don't sink in. He is distracted by the harsh rain pellets and the distant undeviating sound of a honking Durant. Unlike the candle, those sounds didn't stand out to him as empty promises, but instead as a reminder of the harsh reality of the outside world.

His strong and confident fingers appeared to skim the yellow worn out pages of his book on their own accord; his eyes still looking, but not necessarily seeing. Looking closer, with shoulders painfully slumped, he squinted his blue eyes. The words blurred into one and he began blinking desperately and shifting in his seat. He tried to regain his proper vision, not enjoying the sensation of not knowing or seeing what he was trying oh so hard to understand.

His right thumb gave a slight unconfident tremble as he tried to pick up the next page. After a couple of failed attempts, the paper not obeying (most likely due to his careless attempt- it's not like he was actually reading it), he sighs in aggravation.

He closes his copy of This Side of Paradise harshly between his hands, bringing it to his face. He bounces his right leg uncontrollably up and down as he tapped his pointer finger on the cover of the worn out novel, resting one elbow on each knee.

It was a nervous tick he picked up somewhere along the way.

The walls of the study room seemed to want to envelope him warmly, as if trying too hard to show comfort and security. There was an eeriness that made him constantly tremble and not feel comfortable at all. Maybe it was the hideous wallpaper, or maybe it was that disgusting odor of varnish from the freshly repainted wooden chair that he smelled when he first came in and could not stop thinking about.

There was no longer a sound of a honking Durant, and the rain seemed to dim down drastically as he continued to look into the distance. He wondered if it was the December air leaking through the slightly ajar window that made the tightness in his chest grow cold and frigid.

Aggravated, he placed the book down next to him on the side table, avoiding the waiting and apprehensive eyes staring at him. They had been staring at him for what felt like hours, but had been only mere minutes.

He knew he was a strong young man, he'd always tried to be because that's how he was raised back in his little home town of Shelbyville, Indiana. And if asked about it, he would speak of it with great confidence.

When his mother passed away, his father had been the one to make sure to teach him that nothing like her death would be strong enough to tear him down. That instead, it would, and should, be a motivation for him to be a better person each and every time. He would need to transfer that hurt and despair into physical action.

But clearly, it had to come with a price and tremendous hard work. Things like that, non material things like emotional determination, could not be bought. If you wanted to be great, you had to work to be great. If you wanted to be strong, you'd have to work for it. He'd have to push through all the heartache and pain to reach that level of excellence that he knew his father wanted to see in him.

That is that natural characteristic they're born with: soldiers.

It was well known, Bucky Barnes was a military brat. His father was always well respected at Camp Lehigh. They'd say back at camp that he was much like his father: loyal, headstrong, patriotic, and obtained strong morals. It was practically in his blood to be a fighter. A fighter for the good in people, the kind, and the innocent. It was his duty, and when he'd grow up to put his own two feet in combat boots himself, he would be prepared to take on any mission he was told. He would be more than capable of doing so. They all promised him this and he himself grew up believing it.

But this, this of all things, was not something he was prepared for.

Because he's realized -at this exact moment- that his entire life he has lost almost everything and gained absolutely nothing in return. He'd put himself out there so many times to try and do the better good, from giving his last twenty five cents (that he initially wanted to use to buy flowers for the new pretty girl he met) to the little boy he saw walking down Broadway with no shoes.

He excelled in every class he'd ever taken because he knew it was good for him, because it would make his father proud.

The shadow that belonged to the eyes and voice from earlier sat down in front of him behind a large desk that had a plaque.

It read 'Director' in a golden ink that had begun to fade from years of scratching and unkindly picking by kids that faced much less traumatic sentences than this.

Bucky's eyes lifted for the first time in what felt like a long time. He could feel the strain on his heavy eyelids as he did so. He regretted it the moment he looked up, because that's when reality seemed to have punched him directly in the gut. His eyes swelled and he blinked away quickly, not letting emotion get the best of his masculinity.

He'd refused to let a tear out.

But the look of pity on the man's face is what did it for him, it made him want to completely fall apart. He didn't like being looked at that way. He didn't like being the victim, the way it felt. He hated it with a passion. He wanted to run out of there and hide himself away for at least one small moment and cry.

"I'm so sorry."

That was the response he exactly did not want to hear. Bucky let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through his short hair as the words rang in his ears like ticking bombs. Again, he didn't like the pity.

He tried to deny it and shake his head back and forth to himself but all that did was drive tears to trickle out of his blue eyes.

He knew this would pass with time, but being weak was not the reaction he needed to put on display. He was a soldier for heaven's sake. No matter how destroyed his life seemed to be getting, he couldn't let it show.

Bucky cleared his throat, making sure his voice would sound strong before he would begin to speak.

And it was.

"It's not your fault."

Twenty-one. That's how old Bucky Barnes was when his father passed away.

* * *

Climbing up a couple flight of stairs for Bucky had been a breeze. His mind had been distracted by how he would go about the rest of his school year as an orphan. He knew he wasn't 18 anymore so it wasn't like he'd have to find a foster home or anything. After all, he didn't mind staying in Brooklyn, this was his real home.

Somehow, he still felt extremely lonely, even if he hasn't seen his father in well over two years.

He pretends there isn't 22 pairs of eyes on him the moment he walks through the dingy wooden door. He pretends everyone isn't whispering between each other, discussing the blank look on Bucky's face after just coming from the school's Directory office. He'd imagined they'd all be assuming he'd been in trouble, judging by his initial dismissal earlier when two men in dark uniform had informed him to come down with them.

Little did they know that it wasn't anything like that, that instead, Bucky's heart was shaking from the fear of being alone and not from being in trouble. He was sad and he detested it. He needed to release that pent up feeling that he couldn't exactly name.

Part of him knew that this wouldn't be the last of the things he would lose.

Mind still running on one hundred miles an hour, Bucky's hand had grabbed onto the side of his desk and he spun directly into his seat, sighing out loud. Looking over to his left, his eyes scan over the small blonde. Next, his eyes drift down and he squints in concern, noticing the small paper balls surrounding his table's perimeter. They were carelessly thrown.

Bucky looked up and his eyes followed the laughter coming from group of guys a couple rows ahead. They were looking at Steve.

Looking back to his friend, he sees Steve's eyes remained on his paper, writing something furiously. He was clearly trying to ignore the laughter and anger boiling up in his gut.

A sense of sadness overcame Bucky, but a different kind than what he was feeling earlier. This wasn't sorrow or loss, this was almost complete furious anger. Looking back up and realizing this wouldn't be the proper moment to confront the two gentlemen, he grabs Steve comfortingly by his small shoulder.

Steve recoils at first, probably thinking it was the bullies. His eyes automatically light up when he realizes it's his best friend.

Just as quickly, his smile fades, noticing the despaired look behind Bucky's eyes.

Bucky frowned and cursed Steve in his head. He hated that his friend was so well at seeing right through him. He didn't want to be saved when he wasn't the one worth saving. But Steve, he was too good at that - seeing through people.

"Is everything alright?" Steve's voice was strong, it always had been. It was an important detail that always caught a bully off guard. It reflected Steve's inner perseverance and determination; his inability to back down from something he knew was much bigger than him.

Much like Bucky, he was also loyal.

His eyes furrowed, concern for his friend's well being now being the only important thing to him. The bullies were long forgotten.

Bucky chuckled, trying to shove down the pain and clearly not wanting to push his own problems on his best friend. He would tell him about today's events, but not right now. He had to be strong. Pain equals weakness.

"Yeah, pal. Everything is okay."

More rude chuckling and gazes from the boys went towards Steve's way. It was obvious on his face that he was trying to ignore it. Bucky could feel Steve nudge against his hand and try to stand up. He wanted to confront them, but Bucky's strong hand pushed him back down.

Bucky's nose flared in annoyance as he glared at the boys. This wasn't the time. It wasn't worth it. He cleared his throat and gave Steve a squeeze, his hand still on his shoulder.

"Listen," he started off sternly, "You and me tonight outside the cotton club. Tolda' couple of fine ladies we'd be there to have a good time. Whad'ya think, huh?"

While that up'ed Steve's mood a bit, he knew what that truly meant. It meant two girls would be arm in arm, each one on Bucky's side with Steve on the outs. But he knew would still have a good time, because Bucky made it that way for him. And to be fairly honest it wasn't like the girls Bucky chose were superficial. They were genuinely sweet, and more often than not, saw the same thing in Steve that Bucky saw.

Steve always secretly admired that.

So it was a lie if he said he now wasn't looking forward to tonight.

* * *

The rain dragged out through the day, making it drag on more than it needed to. The gust ran heavy, picking up stronger at times as it blew the winter coats of gorgeous ladies inches up their shins just outside 125th street. This was something that was not overlooked by one Bucky Barnes.

He'd turn his head slightly and smirk, nudging Steve with his elbow to make sure his buddy saw as well. Steve blushed a deep red and Bucky chuckled at his reaction.

He enjoyed it too much, the thrill of the catch of yet another fine lady. They seemed to hover towards him like a moth to a flame, especially when they knew sooner or later he'd be leaving for the army. He found nothing wrong with that.

That was the thing these days, every darn Vivien Leigh was dying to get a soldier on her right arm to kiss them goodbye. To an outsider, the way he went about it at times came off as shallow and womanizing. Although, to the contrary, he didn't want them simply for a night of love making and then later throw them away like scrap. It was rare that he would ever consider a girl interesting enough to actually bring home. (Rare to a man whore, that is.) It was seeing the joy on their face while they had a great time that brought him a feeling of satisfaction. He loved to show them a good time.

Don't get him wrong, he loved sex and he'd root to have it as much as he could, it was one of his favorite things. But he respected it as well.

To him, and most men, ladies were too precious and innocent to know anything of the war. They were a lady and had to be treated as such, their spot in the kitchen was just fine.

He genuinely enjoyed that mental break when he was around them, not having to speak of the war or anything they couldn't handle. He just wished Steve was at times similar and not always thinking about them damn nazis.

He loved seeing Steve relish in patriotism for his country and he definitely loved and respected how courageous he was, but if not being careful and without being realistic, he was bound to get himself killed. He wished that just for a second, Steve would lay back and have some fun like a normal young man.

He didn't understand why Steve didn't know that you don't always have to fight back.

At the end of the day, he knows that he's just insanely protective of Steve. Which is why his arm instinctively goes around him when Rogers almost gets hit by a speeding vehicle that abruptly stops to halt in front of them on the curb. With his mind far away, he hadn't realize they were already standing on the sidewalk in front of one bright sign labeled Cotton Club.

Had Bucky known better, he would've had him on his left.

After that introduction, the two boys look over to the object that almost killed them.

It was pure black, the countless lights coming from the surrounding buildings and cars bouncing off its surface. The rain must've made it even more shiny, the lights made a reflection so bright that it had everyone staring. Men looked in awe and a young paper boy, standing on the corner working over time, wondered if that would someday be his future.

With a look of disgust, Steve was repulsed by the obscurity of the man's driving having nearly hit him. He wondered why people had no respect and he desperately wanted to punch his face in. Either that or give him a pep talk about general safety.

"What a twit." He snarls, dusting off his small suspenders and kicking the invisible debris off his lapels.

Bucky's face held something different. It explained why the woman staring had looked on in pure jealousy. He stared forward completely emotionless. He was neither annoyed at the fact that he almost just got run over and killed and nor in obsession over the Duesenberg J.

It was the beautiful goddess emerging from the passenger seat that caught his full attention.

On her left hand was a pearl and diamond bracelet and she used it to skim over the top of the priceless car door for leverage to push herself gracefully up from the leather seat. Her other hand was wrapped up in a prestige white glove. It held onto the hem of her silver sparkling gown, a long white cigar between her digits. Her gorgeous dress looked heavy, you could tell it was so properly made and expensive because it must've weighed as much as her petite self. The reason being that it hugged her body at just the perfect places, showing off her curves gracefully.

Her perfect blonde hair was pulled slick back by a diamond hair clip to the side in huge voluminous waves. The dress showed just enough back, the material dipping down towards the floor, the dip ending just above her bottom. The entire thing was held by two tiny silver straps on her shoulders.

In a sentimental Mood by Duke Ellington seemed to have played perfectly in sync with the exact moment she shut the door behind her. She looked up to read the sign, her perfect profile looking up in awe. Everything seemed to have shifted on earth's axel as the city lights reflected off her porcelain skin, her blood red lipstick making a gorgeous contrast with it. Her long lashes slowly brushed against the top of her cheekbones as she blinked and looked around.

Bucky's world seemed to have gone silent at that exact moment. He scanned her features with such dexterity and at lost for words, trying to control the heavy beating in his chest. He swore he had never seen anything so beautiful in his entire life.

A man seemed to have said something behind her and she left out the most beautiful sound between her lips that Buck had ever heard. That man greeted her at her side with his arm outstretched for her to take, his smug smile lighting up his face. Bucky hated that man.

The handsome man's shoulders were broad as the couple walked towards the entrance right past Bucky and Steve. Bucky turned his head, following her figure until it disappeared inside.

She didn't even notice him staring at her.

"Can you believe that? He doesn't even realize what he's done." Steve continued on, obviously still upset.

Bucky's eyes followed the woman, unable to shake the thought he'd been reminiscing about since the moment he laid eyes on her.

He had to know her.

* * *

If he had to be honest, Bucky was trying to think of an excuse for his dates as to why he had to leave.

He just couldn't stop thinking about her.

Those piercing blue eyes, the perfect blonde hair, and those lips he so wanted to touch or just hear speak.

It was strange, but the sudden attraction he had towards this stranger was something he couldn't quite explain. But he could feel it in his gut. It was an itch that wouldn't go away until he at least found out her name.

"Buck? Come on man," Bucky's eyes finally gazed down to Steve and then he looked at this two dates who he realized has shown up and hadn't even notice, "I know it's a nice car, but you're scaring me."

Bucky smirked. He put both his arms around Steve and the two girls, "You're right, I'm sorry. Let's just go and have a good time, huh?" He turns to one of the girls, and he doesn't even remember her name, "You don't have any where to be all night, right?" He asked with a wink.

Both girls giggled and the four went inside the building.

His eyes scanned the room as soon as he set foot in the venue. Loud jazz blasted in his ears and he made a mental note that he had to ask her for a dance- at least one.

But he couldn't get ahead of himself. First, he had to find her.

"Buck. What are you looking for?" an annoyed Steve pried. Bucky wanted to grab both girl's hands and just place one in each of Steve's and tell them to have a good time and for them to walk away. He didn't want to seem to come off rude, but they were in the way of what could possibly be the future that he always wanted.

"Yeah, Bucky. Waddya lookin for? We're right here." The other girl (he didn't know her name either) said flirtatiously with a hand to his chest and a heavy old New York accent.

He pulled her hand off of him, and with a shake of his head. He did a double take and it was at that moment that he saw her sitting across the room. She was in the lounge area holding a martini with that gloved hand and she was talking to the guy who she had walked in earlier with. Except he was standing angrily and looking like he was moments from walking away from her. Bucky squinted his eyes as he noticed the man yelling and stomp his foot.

He began motioning maniacally towards the main stage and was yelling so loud Bucky could've heard him if it wasn't for the loud music.

The pretty woman rolled her eyes and crossed her legs, revealing a long slit that ran up her dress. It was just enough skin for Bucky's hand to get sweaty.

He waited until the perfect opportunity when the man had walked towards the direction of the stage, making his way into to the back behind the curtain. Bucky stretched out his arm and patted Steve on his shoulder, "Look Steve, I gotta go do something. Keep the girls company." He added with a wink.

Steve's eyes widened in surprise as he looked between both girls. Both hilariously held the same look as him. Did they hear him right? Steve swallowed hard, the lump in his throat bouncing up and down, "What?" he squeaked.

Bucky walked away, leaving three startled people behind.

The blood rang in his ears on his walk over to the girl. Was he really doing this? He almost felt like his legs was just taking him, that he had mentally no control over what he was doing. He sees her take another confident sip of her drink and he swallows hard. Maybe he should go back.

He's never felt so much nerve and yet conviction in his life. He had tunnel vision at this point, everything around him was black and quiet except for her. It was as if there was a while halo around her form, asking for him to follow the light. No fault of his own, he couldn't even hear the three upset people calling after him as he walked away. Halfway to her, she had looked up mistakingly and caught his eye.

He felt his heart explode in his chest but then falter when she looked away.

Here we go again. She thought to herself.

She smirked when he reached her. Her legs were still crossed and her eyes remained on her drink.

"Ma'am." He acknowledged her. She noticed the lack of confidence in his voice and tried not to cringe. His face went ghostly pale. He hated himself for letting his voice shake so much. It was silent for a good couple of seconds and he realized she wasn't going to look his way. He figured he might as well just head straight on instead of walking away without saying anything else. He cleared his throat, "I just wanted to tell you," speaking was good, it showed more confidence, but he realized that he actually had no idea what he wanted to say. This never happened to him before. He decided to go with honesty as he stared at her, "you look beautiful." He breathed that last word while giving her a look over. It was honest, it was genuine.

His flirting skills had completely gone down the drain and he knew it. He felt like he was going to throw up. She still didn't look over at him, it was as if she's heard that phrase a million times.

He takes a step closer and clears his throat again before opening his mouth to say more, but surprisingly no words come out, only a faint squeak.

The lady takes a sip of her martini and swirls the olive around with the tip of her finger. She's impressed with his move. Usually guys come up to her and tell her she's beautiful and then ask if she wants to go to his place, to which she denies because she's disgusted. She wonders where this one is going to go with this.

It's not that she was cocky, she just knew this game too well. He had to be like all the others, right?

Bucky's mouth is stuck as he watches her and mistakes her interest for complete disinterest. His lips were going to form more pickup lines, but now regret is itching at his throat and the awful pain of heartache. His mind shifts gears and instead of a pickup line he's trying to come with an apology; he's embarrassed.

His face is still ghostly pale and he's about to walk away from this opportunity when a delicious sound leaves her mouth.

Because that doesn't always happen. The voice in her head says.

He turns his feet to spin back around,

"Daisy."

Bucky stops and his mouth is agape and he's never been more lost. He's confused but also in love with the sound of whatever just left her mouth. He tried to fix his posture and make it seem like he knows what's going on, because the last thing he wanted to look like was an idiot.

He even momentarily looks over his shoulder to make sure she wasn't speaking to someone else. The pearliest white smile fills her face as she uncrosses her legs and places her drink on the table in front of her. Her bracelet glistens in the dim light, as does her eyes.

The moment his eyes meets hers, something happens across her face. Her muscles loosen and her mouth gapes a bit. His eyebrows knit and then unknit, It was almost as if she seemed to have gotten those same emotions he did when he first saw her step out of her ride.

She clears her throat, "That's my name."

Bucky is still shellshocked but now his lips are peeking up at the sides into a smile. She chuckles at his non response and motions forward with her hand as if for him to keep going, completely ignoring the heat in her cheeks and rapid beating in her chest, "I'd love to know yours as well."

He's about to speak when they hear a commotion coming from the back stage. He feels fear and jealousy in his gut and she notes it in his eyes when she notices where he was looking at, "Is that your...?"

"Brother." Relief washes over Bucky and he lets out a chuckle. The edges of her mouth perk up. He was happy about that. And she was happy about this. "Are you usually this shy?" The vintage Brooklyn accent was heavy on her voice now.

Bucky shakes his head, "No. Never." He says so confidently and quickly that she believes him. He isn't new at this, "Just with you, ma'm."

This comment alone completely takes away what's left of the girl's immense self confidence and a deep blush creeps up her neck. Her earth tilts on its axis as well. She feels a weird tremble in her hands that she's never felt before and she knows what it is immediately. She examines his gorgeous eyes, his perfect jawline, and that boyish brown hair.

She didn't notice how gorgeous he truly was until that moment. Bucky takes another step forward and extends his hand, "Dance with me?"

Her lips twitch. Slowly moving towards the edge of her seat, she slides her white gloved hand into his, a moment he and she would never forget, and he pulls her up slowly onto her feet. She can't look away from his bright smile as he pulls her in.

They don't go out to where the majority of the people are, but instead they dance in that exact spot. If they were to be brutally honest, it wasn't even dancing, they were swaying to The Way You Look Tonight.

It's those two minutes of silence that they both feel something they've never felt with anyone else before. It's entirely magical and heart straining. She feels the heat of his front against hers and she wonders if he's feeling the same powerful things she's feeling. Because this wasn't just any regular feeling, It was not lust and it wasn't just attraction, it was something else. He had to feel it too or she wouldn't be the same ever gain.

It was strange, because he was a stranger. But it didn't feel that way. This was different. It was the way he fit against her, just perfectly. Bucky breathes out a shaky breath as he brings her closer. At that moment, he feels like he might pass out from such perfectness. He never knew such an innocent conversation and act could make him want to do so much- be with someone so much.

She feels her heart hammering so hard in her chest that there's a moment during the song where she's bringing her gloved hand from his shoulder and up to the side of his neck. She was caught up in the moment, things were happening on its own; she no longer had control.

His skin was perfect, she notes.

Bucky's eyes go wide at her move and he looks at down at her. She was touching his skin. He hoped that when he looked down she would be looking back with that same confident attitude she seems to posses. But she's not looking at him, she's staring up at the stars that were past the ceiling above them along with all the ten floors. She bluntly Ignoring his stare because she can't believe what is happening. Maybe there was an answer in the heavens.

He watches her intently, like a movie. If it was even possible, she was more beautiful this close. He can't look away and she feels his eyes on her. They were boring into her soul.

He wants to memorize this forever.

She closes her eyes slowly and takes a deep breath because she feels like she might cry. He does the same and brings her in a little closer. His one hand ghosted inches over the skin of her back where her dress dropped, not sure if it would be appropriate or not to touch her skin there. He settled for her clothed waist instead and this makes her smile.

A gentleman.

His head is still tilted down and she takes this opportunity and she leans the side of her head against his, smiling faintly.

He brings his face closer and looks down at her, their noses touching. She feels the side of his nose against hers and her eyes open. She's staring straight down at his bottom lip and she gulps.

This man was perfect, everything about this was.

The song is about to close to an end when he brings his hand down her arm and passed her soft skin. He takes her fleshed hand and slowly intertwines their fingers.

She gapes at this action, feeling his breath bounce off her face.

She looks up at him from clouded eyes, lust taking over immediately.

He answers lowly in a husky voice, "James."

It takes a moment for her to register that that is his name.

"James." She whispers like it's a prayer.

* * *

 _This story is dedicated to every girl out there who has ever gotten her heart broken in a way that she knew she could never repair herself from. This is for every girl who loved a guy who loved someone else more or first, or simply didn't love her back. This is for every girl who is tough, hard-headed, a badass, and strong, but at the end of the day a sweetheart who crumbles at the slightest pain because the reason she is so tough is because that's how she thinks she needs to be to survive. This story is for every girl who has loved a man, irregardless of anything else, and has cried herself to sleep because of it._

 _A personal event that happened in my life not too long ago is what inspired me to write this story. I wanted to voice out an emotion that only the young women who have been through the above things can understand. But most of all this is for the millennials (girls aged 22-35) who are different than any other age group of women. They are misunderstood, assumed, and misjudged. This is my take on when Bucky Barnes (a man in his mid 30s) falls for one. And not just that, but she is like us in more than one way._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

* * *

Jazz and burlesque shows were the epitome of everything she had lived for up until she was sixteen years old. The smell of handmade lace garters and expensive perfume still lingered in the back of her mind, bringing her a feeling of contentment and a strange longing for the past. Nostalgia would overwhelm her as she looked on at what was the exact contrast to her innocence – her mother's hugs. She missed those nights where she'd play some 12's of her beat up vinyl on her record, the scratches adding to Eliza Fitzgerald's voice a twinge of imperfection that made it the perfect tone.

With nothing on but her undergarments, and a pair of leg garters accompanied with knee high black stockings, she'd open her closet to a huge collection of gorgeous cocktail dresses. A couple handful landed just above her knees, not many past her mid shin - Scandalous and mildly scandalous. Her parents would kill her if they ever found out she even owned them (let alone have them in their home) so she kept those hidden in a little pile in the back corner of the wardrobe.

She had every right to be terrified for many reasons. It's not that she was not loyal or a rebel, per say. She was born and raised into a Christian family, all strict rules of modesty and heavy morals applied to her daily life. She was always daddy's little girl in the simplest sense possible. She wouldn't ever dare roll her eyes at him or purposefully make him disapprove of her, ever. Sure, she was raised in a rich family, so she was used to getting everything she always wanted. Material things being at the top of the list. Even then she remained as humble as possible. Especially when she thought her strong faith was behind it all.

Do well for God, he gives back in return, right? At least that's what her naïve self believed at the time. But she'd never admit it to her family that she _now_ thought otherwise, especially to her mom.

If anything, God was now banning them all to Hell anyway.

Her vanity was those of every girl's dreams. Drawers filled with everything you could only wish of having. Inside were lingerie of every shade (from fiery red to pure jet black, like the night sky in the city), style, and earrings of every pearl and diamond crystal variety you could think. Her favorite would always be the garters. She'd clip each of the four clasps into place just above her knees with her nimble fingers and then she'd sit opened legged in front of the mirror.

Diligently, and with prestige dexterity, she'd apply her blood red lipstick and her four inch black heels.

After an o shape with her lips around her fingers and a loud pop, she'd walk around her room and close her eyes, envisioning herself as a burlesque girl and a sensual song playing in the background. After all, she had all the right in the world to be the exact opposite at night than what she was during the day. Morally, at least.

She still remained as the same sweet, innocent, and faithful young girl she always was. But she had big hopes and dreams, especially in film and dance. _God should be okay with dream_ s, she thought.

When she had learned the truth it was just short of her 20th birthday. She unwontedly found out that her father and brother were different souls at night, too. She wished she never found out that everything that had been lying in front of her had been a lie, and instead of life being a gifted blessing it was instead a bloody carcass hades.

Their life wasn't one she liked to admit to partaking in. There were times where she would trick into telling herself that they weren't doing it. She'd trick herself into thinking that way so that when she saw her dad that night, she'd be able to surpass the strong smell of whiskey and gun powder and kiss him goodnight.

Jimmy would roll his eyes with a shove past her shoulder.

As much as she detested it, she knew that without them, they wouldn't be living in one of the most beautiful homes in all of Manhattan in complete safety. It was because of them that she wasn't living out in the slums. She tried to divide that part of harsh reality from her brain as much as she could. Eventually, the pros outweighed the cons.

Maybe it was the fact that her body had finally developed into a women's body. Her breasts were now fully perked and her legs were long and porcelain gorgeous; all she knew was they figured she could be put to good use.

At first she was repulsed by her own father's comment, but if it meant having dinner that night and not getting killed, she would swallow those nagging feelings and take it head on. It never lasted too long anyway, and all she had to do was stand there and be her brother's accessory.

When her father brought her into the business, he told her she would thank him one day when she had children of her own- she'd have all the men of the lower east side wrapped around her pretty little finger.

She was alright with it, until something happened that she would never forget. She had to swallow the repulsive bile and control herself not to run away then and there. She was too far in and knew way too much.

It was just another Tuesday night and she had been sitting at the dinner table, when both her mom and dad had stepped out of the dining room and into the kitchen. She ate her soup quietly, not being able to stop thinking about going back to her room to play burlesque, when Jimmy had turned to her.

At first it was the sudden motion that caught her attention, it had made a strand of blonde hair fly off her arm. Then it was the feral look in his eyes.

"Daisy," his voice was low and dangerous. Daisy knew that tone very well because it was the tone all the other men used on their nights of missions. She was terrified and disgusted. Wide eyes trailed from her eyes to her full red lips and she felt a cold rigid finger against the heat of her skin on her upper thigh, pushing the fabric slightly up. She gulped.

Jimmy smiled, "You gorgeous thing."

She thought about telling her father but she knew that if he found out, the one partnership that was bringing them the most cash would be jeopardized and it would have to be terminated and he'd be more then upset. She knew when her dad got angry, it was not good. It's was messy and bad.

Back at dinner, her father would say grace before they ate, all of them hand in hand, and her mom would sit there quietly, a terrified and exhausted look in her smiles. She had heavy bags that weren't there years ago, and her hair that used to always be done was now up in a messy clip, the baby hairs hanging against her wrinkled forehead, messy and unruly. But still she managed to smile, even if it wasn't a real smile. It was all a stupid act.

It reminded Daisy of how she herself was when she was 16 - pretending to be oblivious to what her family were doing to the innocent. And so she hated her mom for that, for being just like her.

She felt disgusted in herself, she felt disgust for her family. Oh how she missed those days of when she was a child, before she even knew the truth. It was all so much simpler back then and she was so much happier. The worst it used to get was when her mother would tell her stories about when she was a nurse back in WWI.

She had wanted to be like her mom at first. Her mom was quiet, humble, caring, and extremely gracious. It's what made her such a good person to have back in the war to help the soldiers- she was strong willed and knew she could help and would in her best ability do so. But those stories made Daisy question why any man in his right mind would want to do such a thing to their own body- putting themselves at such a risk.

Sure, she was privileged by riches, but problems didn't have to be solved by violence. There must be other ways, like prayer or simply believing.

Her mother would tell her the graphic stories of the injuries that made Daisy queasy and fidget in her seat. She loved her mom's qualities and how willing she was to help others who were injured and almost dying, but it still made no sense to her.

When daisy questioned her concerned to her mother she had simply said:

" _Don_ _'_ _t question insanity. Simply thank the courages ones for their heart and strong character, for not all are willing to do the good and get destroyed in the worst way, not for their own benefit, but for others._ _"_

To this day, Daisy wondered if her mom was indirectly referencing her own father- him lacking thereof.

Next, she wondered about when her mom stopped believing her own words.

Daisy wondered if she'd ever meet one one day - _a soldier_. Someone willing to get destroyed. Or if her mom had been lying and all men are the same, evil like her father and brother.

* * *

 _1938_ **Cotton Club** _ **Manhattan**_ _ **, New York City**_

She's completely silent as she stares at his face, as if she was allowing this moment, this feeling, and his name all to sink in at once at its own pace. She could feel herself trembling underneath his gaze and she wanted it to never stop.

He wasn't batting an eye lash, but instead just staring into her blue orbs. It was as if the tremor that left her somehow entered his own heart, because he pulled her in closer with a small gasp. She hadn't realized their hands were still tightly intertwined and she swears she feels him squeeze when she pulls away for a moment. _Don't._

She wasn't pulling away to get away but just simply leaning back on her heals to take a deep breath. She blinked wildly, her gaze drifting from his eyes to his lips and back again.

His eyes were pleading, this couldn't be over.

She pulls her face away just far enough to where she can finally take in a deep breath.

Bucky is about to pull her in close once more, since their hands are still attached, but her hand is sharply removed out of his, leaving them both cold and empty. It was a harsh slap and what was once the sound of just their breathing and heart beats, was now a yelling and the loud commotion of the club on an average night. She literally feels like she was ripped out of his arms.

Bucky's eyes quickly dart up to the intruder and he's about to say something when Daisy quickly backs away from her brother, her gloved hand going straight to his to his chest and pushing him away. It takes her a moment but her gaze finally adjusts.

Her brother takes her hand and holds it against him, "Robert's a sleazing liar, Daisy. If dad finds out about this we're both dead. Les' just get out of here before they get onto us." Daisy's silent, her mouth still agape. Emotions from moments ago are still washing through her system and she barely has anything else left to react to her brother's statement. She could honestly care less bout what was supposed to go down tonight anymore.

She looks over at Bucky. Her brother follows her eye flicker and looks back at Bucky and then back to her. He lets out an exasperated chuckle and points at Bucky with his thumb, "Who's this? Another one of them twits, Daisy? Imma lay a hand on him, you know these guys want nothin' but one thing. Let's go. _Now_." Her brother starts pulling her behind him.

Once he's about to pass Bucky, he shoots him a dirty look, "Suggest you get out of here, pal."

Daisy looks like she's about to cry as she pulls up the side of her dress to not trip behind her brother. He's rough as he pulls her behind him towards the exit.

"Jimmy, you gotta wait. You're gonna' make me fall!" Jimmy rudely let's go of her and watches as she takes a deep breath and dusts off her dress. Bucky is still voiceless, trying to process his heart's emotions and what the hell was going on.

Suddenly, Daisy runs back to a table by the lounge where she was sitting at previously and grabs a random straight pen that she remembered had been carelessly left behind by someone else. She silently thanks heaven for it. Both Bucky and Jimmy look at her speechless as she grabs Bucky's limp hand in hers and starts writing quickly. Bucky winces at the object's sharp edge against his soft skin.

Jimmy rolls his eyes, "Hell. _Come on_ , Daisy."

She closes Bucky's hand and gives him one last emotional look that said too much yet not enough before she runs out with her brother.

Bucky looks down at his closed hand, heavy emotions still crashing through his body.

Slowly he opens it up revealing 5 small yet powerful words that he knew would change everything. He smiles softly to himself.

 **d** **umbo** **. under the bridge. 8.**

He's momentarily startled out of his trance when he feels a small hand grab his elbow. He looks down and his eyes meet a small concerned Steve. Well, to be fairly honestly, he looked more pissed than concerned.

Bucky doesn't feel the patience to deal with talking anything out, he's too busy thinking about Daisy. But he feels like he should at least say something so he can get everyone off his back, "What is it?"

Steve looks at him likes he's crazy and then manically gestures towards the entrance of the club, probably pointing to where Daisy just left through.

"Bucky, what the heck was that? Who was that? You know her?"

Bucky laughed at Steve's overly concerned reaction and grabbed him by his shoulders, "Steve. **Steve** ," he's says one more time, more sternly when he doesn't seem to stop talking. Bucky figured then and there he shouldn't tell Steve just yet about what he's feeling for the girl because he knows he'll be judged majorly because one- he just met her, and two- he did bring two other dates, "I just met her. It was nothing, we just danced, okay? You need to calm down, kiddo."

Steve gave him a serious look and shook Bucky's hands off his shoulders. Steve hated when Bucky called him kiddo. He was only a year younger than him. He wasn't a child, and he hated being lied to. He knew something was up with Bucky ever since this morning. He wasn't being himself since he got back from the office. Bucky gulped at Steve's serious face.

"Steve, come on."

"Let's not pretend we didn't see those two men take you away today and you coming back with fresh tears in your eyes." Bucky looked away embarrassed, swallowing hard on more time, "I'm one of the few people who have ever seen you cry, Bucky, and I know what you look like when you do."

He let out a long sigh and licked his lip. He tried to laugh it off, shaking his head while looking down, "First of all," He looks Steve dead in the eye, smirking, "lets not talk about that. That was one time."

Steve cut him off sharply, "Come on, Bucky. Cut the crap."

Bucky looks up at him through his gorgeous thick eyelashes, his smirk falling off and humor no longer tainting his face. He shakes his head accordingly and runs a hand down his face.

Steve was a good friend. He was always trying to make Bucky feel better when he knew something was up. He deserved better from him, he deserved to know everything. Bucky reached up to the corner of his eyes and rubbed it. He was getting tired of this day, there were too many emotions for him to handle.

"You're right, I'm sorry." He dropped his hand to his side, clicked his tongue, and looked away from him. He had to or he would lose it again, "My dad's gone."

First came unbearable silence and then it was the shuffle of Steve's shoes as he moved closer. "What?" His question was a whisper. Steve's apprehensive eyes turn sad and then very upset, hid eyebrows narrowing tightly towards his nose. Bucky hates this, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because. It's not something I want to talk about right now. I don't want to think about it."

Stevie's face falls, "Bucky…"

Bucky's eyes finally meet his and his face is serious. It was obvious he was trying to push down any sign of pain, "Seriously, Steve. I lost Mom, then Becca, and now Dad. I'm used to this. The only thing I have to focus on now is my country. That's what dad would have wanted."

Bucky's answer makes Steve sad to the core, Bucky was a great guy and he never deserved to go through so much loss, but he knew how Bucky dealt with this kind of stuff – he didn't. So he decided to move on with the subject and just pry later, "So you're goin' backta' Jersey?" He was referring to the camp his father was last training at.

Last thing he wanted was to think about as his next steps he would have to take in life, and so soon, but he had to face reality as soon as possible. He would have to go the camp and see what would be going on.

Bucky nods and then looks back over Steve's shoulder towards the door of The Cotton Club, "Look, I gotta go."

* * *

1938 _ **Dumbo**_ **, Brooklyn, New York City**

His feet took him to a place he'd been to everyday since he's lived in Brooklyn. Although this time, this day, it was insanely different. He couldn't imagine that he had been awake right now, everything felt too surreal. He couldn't believe that he had the balls of steel to actually walk up to her. Thank god he did because whatever it was that was felt between him, he knew it was what he was looking for his entire life.

 _Daisy_.

The sides of his lips twitched as he let out a long sigh. He walked back and forth between the same building in dumbo and ran a hand through his soft hair, pulling slightly at the ends. He was trying his best to calm down even though he knew he had a good hour until it was 8. He wasn't sure he could wait.

He didn't know what to say when he would see her again. This was probably a stupid question but did she like him? What was the commotion back at the club with her brother? What was she planning on doing with him when she met up with him? There was so many questions going through his head and not nearly enough answers.

He didn't know if he was scared or anxious, all he knew was he wanted it to be 8 o'clock already.

He was thankful that the rain had stopped a while ago, the pavement was now mostly dry but some mist was still dangling through the air by it being pulled up from the puddles by the wind. He found the driest corner of a building that he could find and he sat there. He rested his arm on his knee and looked around.

Deep in the Hudson below was soon to be the bridge, what Daisy had been referencing to. He looked at the pieces of sharp metal rising from the deep river, up into the air. It was massive and terrifying. When the wind would blow through the iron steel it would make a haunting howling sound that sent shivers up his arms.

He didn't get it. It was only recently that people had begun expanding the city upwards. There weren't that many tall buildings in New York up until a few months ago. It was only seven years ago that they finally finished the Empire State Building, and even that was some getting used to. He thinks they even made some movie about it.

He looked at the skyline from across the river, that beautiful building standing tall, lighting up the sky.

A sense of sadness overwhelms him suddenly as he remembers the events of the day. It's not common that he gives himself moments to allow himself to reminisce and feel. He reaches into the chest pocket of his dress shirt and pulls out a small locket with a chain. He clicks it open revealing a small beat-up black and white photo of his family. His little sister Rebecca stood in the front by his side. He admired her cute short brown hair and her brown eyes. She was always a sweet little girl, anything would make her laugh, and her laugh was always genuine and extremely contagious. Bucky frowns.. She was so heartbroken when her mom passed away. Seeing Rebecca sad was not something he liked to think about, ever.

Bucky frowned as he passed his thumb over her picture. He hasn't seen her since they got separated back at Camp Lehigh before returning to Brooklyn one last time. He wondered how she was doing. He wondered if she knew about dad.

He feels a tight pang in his chest and sighs. Two out of he three people he loved the most were all dead. He looked back at the skyline before shoving the locket back in his pocket, refusing to look at his mother and father.

He took in the cool air and let the wind momentarily flick his hairs onto his forehead. He closed his eyes tightly together and took a deep breath.

 _Shit, for all I knew i could be next._

He hoped things would change now that he met Daisy. Maybe he wouldn't have just one person left that he could love. Maybe God was giving him another chance. At least if only for a little while. He had to be optimistic, no matter how hard it would be and how unrealistic it felt for him.

He remembers his past lovers, how there were some he wished would've become something more but they just weren't. It was rare that he fell in love, to be honest he thinks he's actually never really felt it before. Heavy lust? Sure. And yeah, he's screamed it a couple of times during harsh love making, but those don't really count. So yeah, maybe he never has been in love before.

He'd slept with maybe only 4 girls this year since his arrival back in Brooklyn. It was a lot less of a number than what he normal would do. But he had too much going on in his head right now. A glimpse of gold and blue flickers in his brain and he smiles.

Daisy seemed like a sweet girl, and he almost felt embarrassed having to speak about his sexual past to her. She didn't seem like that type of girl that would jump at the thought of a guy that was popular with the girls. But he had to prove to her what he thought the moment he laid eyes on her - he knew that everything he would have with her would surpass every memory he ever had with another girl.

It was brisk and his bones had begun to hurt as he huddled against the building. He must've blacked out somehow, because the next thing he heard aside from the river crashing against the shore line and howling wind was the faint clacking of heels on pavement.

It took him a bit of time to open his eyes, and as he did the sound got closer and closer. His eyelashes must've glued onto the top of his cheeks or something because he was struggling to return to reality. Fear fell deep in his gut and he wasn't sure what to expect the moment his vision came back. And so he mentally prepared himself to attack. He squinted his eyes as his head tilted back against the cold brick, looking to his left. He peaked his eyebrow at the blurry silver glimmer coming into view, followed by a head of blonde.

The shadow was standing in front of him now and he was looking up with no emotion on his face as he gazed at her features. She was smiling at how adorable he looked, shivering from the cold and legs bent against his body. He looked lost.

He noticed she had removed her accessories, both fleshed hands now out. She wore an over sized wool coat and her hair had been pulled out from the pin, both sides now framing her beautiful face. She looked less formal and, if possible, even more like the girl of his dreams. Maybe this was a dream, maybe he was still dreaming. Huh.

He tilted his head, wondering. She tilted her head back, mimicking him. But she was doing it out of concern.

Was he okay?

"Is this a dream?"

His innocent and genuine tone made her chuckle. _He was being serious_ , she noted, not a tinge of humor visible on his face.

Part of her became ecstatic at that fact that this also felt like some kind of dream to him as it did to her earlier that night. On her way to her apartment with her brother, all she kept thinking about was James. Her brother held a disapproving look when she told him she'd be out for the night. But he followed it up with a "be safe."

She remembers their dance back in the city, the moment she really looked at him and saw him for the first time. Her smile dissipates as well when she sees he's still not himself and completely serious.

His question was serious.

"No." So was her answer.

Reality hits him for the fourth time that night like a slap to the cheek. _This was real, she was real_. He eyes her up and down and her cheeks flush a deep pink. He needed to make sure.

She watches him intently as he stands up slowly. His cute boyish lips pursed out, as if wanting to say something else. He licks it instead and steps up to her, leaving little space between them. She gulps at the proximity.

His eyes drift over her now covered shoulders, and allows his hands to go there. This makes her jump slightly, she wasn't expecting touch so soon. She examined him this up close and she knew immediately that she loved his eyebrows for some reason. Hell. This boy was beautiful. His perfect stained lips that looked so soft, and that nose that was begging to be brushed up against her own.

He dragged his hands up the sides of her neck, slowly; painfully slow. Her breathing was beginning to pick up as he kept looking at the skin his hands drifted over. She's never felt so naked but yet so comfortable in her life. His hands were soft but yet determined. they knew what they were doing.

He brought them to her jaw line and he cups her cheek.

She swallows once more and he notices. He delicately caresses her left cheek with his thumb and then the small trail of hair that was her eyebrow. Her eyes glistened, her blue matching his. He was so caught up in her, so fucking caught up.

The silence was broken by his strong voice.

"You're real."

She smiles in a way that makes him smile too. It was contagious and bright. He caresses her skin one more time.

He felt her own hand come over his and she whispers, "I'm real."

They're so focused on one another that when a strong wind comes through, pushing some of the water from the river against their exposed skin, it makes them simultaneously close their eyes in pain and laugh out loud. He quickly pulls her into his arm and to one of the corners of the building, trying to hide her as much as possible. They were both laughing so hard that she started getting tears, but she wasn't sure if it was from the laughter or the bitter cold. They were both so caught up in the events of the night neither noticed how cold it really was.

Once their laughter dwelled down, she continued to stare at him in total admiration. He was something else for sure. She wanted to feel his arm around her again. She looked down at his freezing hand and took it into her cold one.

"Tell me about you, James."

He smiled when she looked back up and he gave her a squeeze.

"First, tell me what a fine dame like you is doin here in Brooklyn." A playful smile plays on her lips, but it's a rhetorical questions so he continues, "What do you wanna know?"

She smiles even wider and this time it reaches her eyes, "Everything. I want to know everything about you by tomorrow mornin'."

The fact that she suggested spending the night with him made him gulp. He looks down at her lips and nodded slowly.

He followed up by telling her that the apartment he had rented out for the next few weeks was just a couple of blocks away. On the walk there she had questioned what he meant by rent for a couple of weeks to which he responded with that he would explain there, but that they should get warm first.

When they arrived, his door ended up being three floors up. His dingy beat-up door made her smile inside. He gave off a classy, rich, stuck up vibe, but really he was simple and not much for being out there. She liked that he seemed so original.

He inserted the key into the normal door lock and bolt lock and opened the door for her to let her in first. She stepped into the "foyer", if it could even be called that, and took a look around. It was more like a two by two feet space. She walked in the rest of the way and took a look around. It was basically a small studio, but a lot smaller. It was one room, inside there was a tiny kitchen on the left corner, a window that looked out to another brick wall, and to the right a metal bed with a white blanket.

But it was made, military style.

He walks over to his record player and places the needle gently down on the vinyl. If You Only Knew by Ella Fitzgerald starts playing quietly. He looks over his shoulder and her and notices her facial expression.

"Yeah, sorry" he chuckled dropping his keys by his iron stove, "I know it's not much, but it's temporary. You should've seen my old place before I left for training."

He catches himself when he says it but it's too late. Her head snaps to his direction and her face holds an emotion that he can't really pin point. He can't tell if it's fear or surprise. He swallows hard and tries to direct the conversation to a different direction.

He curses himself in his head for his stupid slip up. He goes to the far kitchen and opens the cupboard, "I got some cookies, uhm," he doesn't know what to say with her staring at him like that. He closes the cupboard and runs a hand through his brown hair. It's silent.

It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop. A car honks outside after it runs through a puddle and Ella's voice is haunting.

"You're in the army."

He's caught off guard and his eyebrow raises at her voice. He looks at her. It wasn't fear or surprise that she had felt when he said that, it was sadness. It was the one feeling he was afraid she'd feel, it was the reason why he didn't want to tell her just yet. But it was too late, she knows now.

He nods.

He sees visible tears build up in her eyes. He doesn't want this, he wanted this to be happy. Just a half hour ago they were laughing and now she's in his apartment, shattered. She nods quickly and crosses her arms across her chest.

She was different and he knew it the moment he saw her. Any normal girl would love to be with a soldier, but not in this case. Not when it was something like this.

She looks at his bed and his window and shakes her head. This was a damn pit stop.

The made bed revealed just how loyal he was to what he had signed up for and she knew there was no backing out. But he was perfect, she couldn't lose him. She had to at least stay for the long hall, she thought. It wouldn't last forever anyway.

Her eyes meet his again. The tears had been blinked away and evaporated and her strong satire was back.

He had been waiting patiently for her response. Whatever she said would ever make or break this, and for God's sakes if there's anything he didn't want to do it was break this.

"How long?" Her tone was strong.

He was a bit confused by the question, "How long till I leave?"

She nodded.

Bucky felt his heart sink. It wasn't long. She would not like the answer. It was not good. She concluded this herself by his delayed answer and his stare at the floor beneath him.

She let out an exhausted sigh and a click of her tongue as she turned away from him. Now she was angry.

"Five days."

They're silent, standing there letting reality sink in. Minutes pass by. She takes a seat on his bed and takes off her coat. He watches her every move intently, wondering if she would decided to stay for the long haul or run out of his cheap room he dared call an apartment.

"Like I said. I want to know you."

He heart soars and he smiles. He re opens the cupboard and takes out a box of cookies. He fills up two jars with milk and hands one of them to her as he practically dances over to her. He sits criss crossed on the bed. She chuckles at how innocent he looks just sitting there like that in his dress shirt and suspenders, like a kid.

It's awkward at first, trying to sit cross cross with a long dress on, but eventually she manages by pulling her dress up around her thighs. Bucky blushes at this. She brings him out of the moment.

"So what are you doing in Brooklyn?"

He smirks, "I live here, Doll." She gives him a confused look. He takes a deep breath and decides to start from the beginning, "I moved here when I was a teen. My father was in the army since we used to live back in Indiana. I used to go with him to camp, I loved everything about it. The respect those men held, the strong mentality they had, there's was so much about what they were doing that made me see there was something greater to live for. To make this country better for us, so we can live and be peaceful and happy. There are way too many nasty people out there who don't deserve to breathe our air. We are good people and I want to save the good people. It's something serious, putting your life like that on the line. Unfortunately not all are willing."

Daisy smiles at him talking about his love for the military. She remembers her mother's words at that moment.

It really was in his heart, his love for humanity, "it's in my blood, just like dad. I did training in New Jersey where he was stationed." Mentions of his father makes him trail off for a second and Daisy notices. She places her hand on his, "and then they sent me back here for some additional work just until our physical forms go through to see who gets accepted. Who does leave in five days."

Daisy perks at this, "So you're not actually certain if you will leave?"

Bucky chuckles to himself and looks down. He reaches for another cookie, "Doll, my dad was well respected on the forces. They raised me to do the same. They practically have my name already there ready for me. I know I'm not staying."

Daisy stays silent again. Bucky tosses the cookie back down and reaches for her cheek. She gasps and looks up at him, her blue eyes soft, "I'm not saying this to make this harder. I'm being honest with ourselves, because," he looks at her eyes and then her lips. She swallows hard when she sees him looking there. Her heart starts to race in his chest as he moves in closer, "because I know all we have is five days and I want to make the most of it. I've only known you for a few hours but what I feel with you is something I know will last forever."

The moment he says this he feels like he's just put his heart own on his sleeve. Something he has never done. There was no taking it back now. He's never had a relationship like this before, he prays to God he didn't just mess it up. He starts getting afraid when she doesn't respond, she just stares up at him. His eyes swell up slightly and he wants to add that it's okay if she didn't feel the same.

But No. he didn't not want to lose this. So he slides his hand from her cheek even higher up the side of her head through her hair and watching her, "Please tell me you feel the same." His voice is low and full of emotion. Hopeful.

She's never felt this. This had to be the boy of her dreams, and now she felt like the one that was dreaming all over again. Just three hours ago she never even knew this man existed, but all of a sudden she felt like she's known him all her life.

She moves in closer and watches his Adam's apple bobble up. The proximity was too much to bear. He was too much, and yet she wanted more. She wanted him.

And she only had five days. They had five days.

And they were going to make the most of it.

The moment her lips crashed onto his was a moment he wouldn't forget. The fire that exploded inside of him was a bright red flame and it burned through his heart. Instinctively, he brings his other hand up as well and slides it to the other side of her face. She slides her left hand up his thigh and he growls against her mouth, their tongues meeting for the first time. It was fast, hard, and needy.

He raises himself up onto his knees so he's towering above her still criss-cross body. Her hand raises up higher up his thigh and he feels her delicate fingers reaching in his waist band. He growls against her mouth once more.

She uses his belt loop to bring his body downwards as she uncrosses her legs and lays herself down onto his bed. Bucky's right leg drops down the side of the bed and accidentally kicks the glass over. They're lips still stay connected and he's bringing his right hand to the strap of her dress, and now Ella's voice sounds like a goddamn melody.

He's about to pull her strap further down but he stops himself.

He pulls away and they're both breathing heavily, Daisy whimpers at the distance he puts between their lips. The sound makes him want to go back to what he was doing, but he stops himself.

She's about to question him when he places her strap back against her clavicle. He pats it down gently and the act makes her laugh. His lips are swollen and she kisses them one more time. He moans into her mouth. She pulls away and lets him speak.

"I want to know you, too." He says.

"We will. We have five days."

Her legs had curled up against her chest as she laid on her side, a single finger making soft patterns against his chest. It moved up and down sharply as his breathing became affected by what her touch was doing to him. He had stared down at her finger and then grabbed it diligently. She watched silently as he used his right hand to unfold her twirling fingers and fold it with his, holding it against his body.

She looked up at him incomplete awe, her eyes drifting down to his approaching lips. He dipped his head just slightly as he brushed his lips against hers.

They had stayed up all night talking about their goals, and what they loved to do. Daisy was a simple, innocent,, young girl. She loved dancing and flowers and she also admired the simplicity of innocence. She grew up in a Christian household and her morals were up there. They both laughed together when she brought up the fact that she never would've had thought she'd be cuddled in bed with a man she met only hours before.

They commented about their families, how Bucky's little sister had been taken away from him not too far back, about his mother's death.

"What about your father?" She had asked.

Bucky remained quiet as he stared up at her. She noticed his change in demeanor and her eyes squinted. Bucky let go of her hand and switched his position from on his side to on his back. He brought his leg up and folded his hands on his chest.

He felt her shift and lean against him. He looked over and saw her resting on her elbow, her left hand drifting up his neck and into his hair. She pulled on it slightly making him close his eyes.

"James." She whispered, pleadingly. He opened his eyes and looking into hers.

"He passed away," he could tell she was going to start saying condolences as her mouth opened but he beat her to it, "this morning."

He thought she was going to start giving him sympathy, he expected it. But instead he felt her rest her head on his sturdy chest. He was taken aback at first, but then smiled softly and took in a deep breath. He allowed his hand to snake in through her soft blonde hair.

"You'll get through this. You're strong." He swallowed as he felt her hand skim against his chest, feeling him. He didn't want to push her into anything and was thankful that her hand just went to his waist, pulling his body closer to hers, "I can tell."

"I want to be with you. And when I get back from war, I want to be with you again."

He felt her smile against his chest, "Tomorrow we will start."

* * *

 _Next day,_ _ **Manhattan**_ _ **, New York City**_

They did just that. They spent that early morning walking around the city laughing and eating. When Bucky asked about her brother and what that whole commotion back at the club was she was blatantly honest with him.

"My father's a mobster. He's been wanting some money from one of these performers that was suppose to be there last night, but turns out they weren't even on the set list. He had lied about it, we don't know where he is."

Bucky raises a brow at this, "You do his dirty work for him?"

Daisy chuckled, "No, I don't like to get involved in that. It's a dangerous lifestyle. I have to think about my future family. I was only there yesterday because my brother wanted to get me out of the house for once."

Bucky isn't too gleam on the fact that her family are borderline criminals and that she basically supports it, and for a fraction of a second he almost doesn't buy it, but he decides to mention this later on, not wanting to ruin their moment. She was perfect, after all.

Bucky smiles at her comment, but then his brows furrowed together in an adorable way that made Daisy giggle and bring her hand to his cheek, "What is it, James?"

She just looked so beautiful like that, her little white French bonnet handing off her head and her swollen lips from the harsh cold. Daisy notices him looking at her mouth and bites down on her bottom lip. When he dips his head in and captures her lips for a long kiss she kisses him back just as deeply. She grips his jaw in her hands and then tilts her head in the other direction, trying to get a better angle. Bucky moans into her mouth and grips her neck hard, this makes her mouth open and he takes this as a moment to ask permission to slide his tongue in. He notices that the moment is getting heated and pulls back. They were in the middle of manhattan, and this wasn't exactly PDA appropriate.

He laughs as he pulls away, and then pecks her one more time when she whines from lack of contact.

He had a feeling that him and Daisy would be a hell of a story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Mild** _Smut_ in this chapter... :)

I know reviews can be exhausting sometimes but anything is fine...they keep me going! Just a simple "This sucks" or "This is ok" is fine lol please leave one :)

* * *

Chapter Three

* * *

There's an eery feeling that surrounds your heart the moment you hear metal grinding on metal. It's a screech that's loud, piercing, and beautifully haunting. It reminds you of things you thought you had forgotten, like that time you walked down the street holding your father's hand as a child. Your little digits would wrap around his one pointer finger, holding on tightly. At the exact moment you would look up behind your tiny lashes and see him wearing that hat that always resembled "dad", and you would run your finger over that little crook of imperfection in his skin. You were young, you couldn't exactly comprehend that feeling you felt during those moments; that tightness in your chest that came from wondering if this moment would last forever- though you already knew the answer.

But whatever they were, those feelings, they were foreshadowing the future when you would long miss them, but little did you know it wasn't the last time you would feel that feeling.

People pass by in slow motion in a life that just doesn't make sense to him. He knows it isn't the end, that there's something wrong, and nothing is _ever_ right.

He didn't want to forget things that he never knew would one day make him fall apart. Apparently, there's a name for that feeling, and it's called melancholy.

Bucky knew that feeling all too damn well and he would come to know it for decades on end.

It flickers behind the glistening tears in his blue eyes when he watches a gentleman's fingers ghost over the white and black keys of the grand piano in the corner of the fancy bar.

He gulps. His little sister used to play.

He swears that the keys and the haunting grinding almost hums along in perfect sync with his heart . He feels like _this_ , whatever it is, isn't forever.

Standing at that moment, being happy and holding Daisy's hand, was a passing memory in his mind. He feels the pain and he wants it to stop. He wants the hurt to stop, and more than anything, he wants to **stay here**. He hears a screeching scream echoing, coming from deep within his head, as if it was coming from the future. He trembles.

" _James._ " It takes him a moment to notice there's a soft hand on his left cheek and that the voice isn't imaginary. He blinks slowly and looks towards the direction that the hand is coming from.

It's blonde and beautiful.

For a fraction of a second he chuckles, almost relieved, and leans into the open palm. Clearly, he had been caught up in something that was not reality. Her blue eyes stare down at him in concern, her own starting to glisten from seeing how sad he looked.

"Are you okay?"

Her question is genuine and concerning. Daisy tried to not feel fear as she watched the white fires behind his eyes, in a daze far away.

His eyes open slowly and he smiles sweetly at the face above him. That sound of grinding metal returns, but this time it's only just beautiful; so damn beautiful.

He nods slowly and tenderly places a kiss in her hand, "Always, doll." Daisy's eyes look more easy now and he can tell that her worry has dissipated. Her frown turns into a smirk as he says, "That man sure knows how'da play a tune. It's almost as beautiful as you."

They stare at each other in a complete daze as he replays the last few days in his head.

Her blue eyes glisten with soft tears, probably thinking the same exact thing. None of it still feels real. Her, _she,_ doesn't feel real. They spent nearly every night together just talking about what Bucky would do when he came back home after camp. Things like how they would have to go see the stars on the back of an outskirts farmhouse, how they would have to go to every club in the city and laugh their night away, how he would take her to coney island with him and Steve and show her a "good time" on the ferris wheel, and how they would **definitely** have to meet her family.

" _They_ _'_ _re great, you_ _'_ _ll love them._ _"_ _She had said as they laid in bed together just hours before, merely cuddling with clothes on._

" _Oh, come on doll, even your Dad?_ _"_

 _Daisy hesitated for a moment and her hand that was rubbing his chest stopped suddenly_ _._ _Bucky noted this and they met eyes. Suddenly,_ _they both simultaneously burst into laughter. Bucky reached down and intertwined his hands with hers. He felt her breathing become more shallow as he ran his toes up her little feet beneath the rugged and cheap sheets. Without breaking eye contact, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers_ _._ _Daisy moaned into his mouth and Bucky whispered a dirty and sarcastic joke under his breath before leaning farther in again, making him hover slightly above her and her blonde ruly hair fan across his pillow. He kissed her hard, left hand cupping the right side of her face._

 _When they pulled away she slowly dragged her thumb across his plump bottom lip. He watched her like she was the most gorgeous and interesting thing on the planet._

" _James?"_ _He responded with a sound on confirmation and she continued,_ _"_ _do you think we are moving too fast?_ _"_

 _He grabbed her hand that was on his face and for a fraction of a moment she thought that that was it, they were over. This was clearly too unrealistic. But instead he brought her hand up over both his lips and he kissed her gingerly._

" _Yes._ _"_ _He whispered behind her hand, making sure he was making direct eye contact with her._

 _Her face dropped._ _"_ _Yes?_ _"_ _Her voice was worried, cautious._

 _He smirked._ _"Mmmhmm."_ _He started trailing kisses down her hand, her wrist, her forearms,_ _"_ _but I don't see anything wrong with that. Because I_ _'_ _m crazy for you doll face._ _"_ _He leaned down and kissed the side of her neck making her groan, "We're crazy for each other."_

 _It wasn_ _'_ _t that Daisy didn_ _'_ _t like being pampered but she wanted to take this very seriously. With a reluctant sigh - because what he was doing to her flesh just felt so good - she delicately removes her arm from Bucky_ _'_ _s grasp. He narrowed his eyes as she moved away towards the head board, suddenly wondering if maybe he said the wrong thing._

 _Her eyes trickled his features and down his perfect little nose. She wanted to kiss it, she wanted to kiss that frown away._

" _I knew it since the moment I laid my eyes on you. That_ _'_ _s how you know it_ _'_ _s real. This isn_ _'t crazy, it's_ ludicrous. _But it works for us. I want to be with you._ _"_

 _After his little speech Daisy looked him dead in the eye, not batting one lash._

" _Then come have dinner with my family._ _"_

 _Bucky gulped, pulling away slightly_ _._

" _I don_ _'_ _t know, Doll._ _"_

" _We don_ _'_ _t have to tell them we just met, I_ _'_ _ll make sure my brother keeps his yap shut._ _"_ _She still hadn't told Bucky about the Jimmy incident, she felt it was best to wait off on certain topics. Things were going just too perfect for it to be messed up._

 _She reached up and runs her thumb over his cheek, "James, my father will adore you. He can't hate something I_ love."

 _That makes Bucky freeze over her and she smiles to herself at his reaction. It takes a moment for her words to sink in before the corner of his lips begin to twitch upwards into a small smirk, "You love me?"_

 _Daisy nods slowly, "I think so. Maybe. Come have dinner with us, first."_

 _Bucky's still smirking as he leans down again to peck her lips, "and" peck "then" peck "what?" He kisses her neck one more time, sucking hard, "huh?"_

" _Pretty little thing…" he adds, whispering under his breath._

 _Daisy laughs as she pulls on his hair, hard._

—

 _She knew she was taking a risk by inviting him over to her house, but she had wanted him to meet her family. Sure this was fast, but how long did they truly have together? She obviously remembered the stories her mother told her._

 _Underneath the anxiety, love, and happiness she felt as he helped her mom cut the carrots, she genuinely hoped her parents would love him, too_ _._

" _How long have you known this boy, Daisy?_ _"_ _Her m_ _om_ _had asked over her shoulder as she washed some lettuce and tomatoes in some cold water in a bowl under the sink. Daisy bit her lip. Her mom noticed her hesitate_ _, "_ _ **Daisy**_ _."_ _Her tone was judging and all too motherly. Daisy looked up and saw her mom giving her a glare that quickly told her that she didn't like where this was going. Daisy felt defensive._

" _Momma, before you judge me, he_ _'_ _s an amazing gentleman and I fully trust him with everything_ _,"_ _she saw her mom shaking her head to herself and murmur something but the sound of the sink water drowned it out. Daisy got up exasperated and walked over to her mom,_ _"_ _Think about it, when was the last time I brought a boy home? You know I don_ _'_ _t bring just anyone. You are going to love him._ _"_

 _Her mom smiled and looked over at her, shutting off the water._

" _You are lucky I'm me and not your dang fatha', Daisy." She washed two more tomatoes,_ _"_ _Do you?_ _"_

 _Daisy gaped at her, not really know how to respond to that. To be fully honest she didn_ _'_ _t really think about it. When it came out while she was cuddly with Bucky earlier that day, it was natural and she hadn't thought twice about it._ _But it seemed to soon to tell, but yet not fully impossible. She_ _'_ _d never felt the way she felt that when she was with Bucky. She felt heat creep up into her cheeks and her mom started to smile. The moment was interrupted by a strong voice._

" _Love who?_ _"_

 _Both Daisy and her mother's face fell at the heavy tone that washed over them like pure ice._ _Daisy'_ _s eyes drifted up to her dad who was standing in the door way. He held a cigar in his right hand, his leather covered foot tapping away. He eyed them both, clearly he was eavesdropping and was_ not _liking where this conversation seemed to have been going._

 _Daisy gulped. She looked down and fidgeted with her fingers._

" _A boy, daddy."_

" _Daisy invited him for dinner._ _"_ _Her mom added casually, draining the water out of the bowl with her hands. The silence was deafening. Her dad could tell she was avoiding his gaze._

 _He chuckled maniacally as he tapped his cigar with his pointer fingers, some ashes tickling towards the freshly mopped floor. Daisy watched as if it were poison. Suddenly, she was very fearful._

" _Is that so?_ _"_

 _Daisy nodded, finally looking up. Her dad looked serious,_ territorial _even._

" _Charles, quit scarin_ _' her. I hear he could be the one._ _"_ _Her mom winked at her._

 _Her dad squinted angrily,_ _"_ _The one? And I_ _'_ _m just now hearing about this kid?_ _"_ _He walked over to his wife and rubbed her back soothingly, still giving Daisy a disapproving look,_ _"_ _and did I just hear love?_ _"_

 _Daisy groaned in aggravation, running her hands through her curls,_ _"_ _Mom, stop that._ _"_ _Daisy sighed_ _as she wiped her hands on her little dress and walked back over to the stool that sat on the far side of the large kitchen,_ _"_ _he_ _'_ _s a great guy. Daddy, I_ know t _hat, it_ _'_ _s why I invited him today._ _"_

" _I just don't get why I'm not meeting this damn boy."_

 _Daisy flinched at his tone, "Daddy, please."_

" _Then explain it to me!"_

 _Daisy dropped her face into her hands, "I was just worried about you meeting him because he's not the typical guy you go for. But I do care about him, please, just give him a chance. He's very sweet."_

 _Daisy practically_ felt _her father roll his eyes. She looked up and saw a snarl on his face._

 _A soft knock on the door and Daisy immediately flew out of her seat to open it. Her dad made a comment to Daisy's mother about agreeing to this in the background, but Daisy was now momentarily too excited to care. She took a deep breath as her hand wrapped around the doorknob. She opened it_ _and the moment her eyes landed on_ him _, her heart went soaring and she literally felt herself smile. All the anger and fear she felt before dissipated. His reaction was mirrored to hers, his pearly whites making her blush hard. His gorgeous eyes wrinkled at the sides as he smiled. He looked perfect in a soft black suit, underneath it is_ _a_ _white dress shirt, but the top button undone. His hair was in a small quiff and shiny from his_ _pomade._

 _She extended her hand out to take his in hers and pulled him inside playfully hard. They both giggled together, Bucky's face leaning down to kiss the top of her cheek. She hadn_ _'_ _t realized how hard she really pulled him until he stood right in front of her, their fronts touching. She was blushing as he stared down at her face and then her lips. He tilted his head slightly and started to lean down, and her eyes drifted shut, when the moment was interrupted but a cough._

" _So you must be the boy daisy won_ _'_ _t stop going on about._ _"_

 _Bucky pulled back, red tainting his cheeks_ _._ _At that moment he realized he had just been caught almost wanting to devour this woman's daughter's mouth right in front of her. He stepped back bit and straightened out his back and cleared his throat._

 _He brought his one hand across his chest and with the other he extended it out for a handshake. No longer lust in his eyes, he was now completely serious, his mission being to impress a high class family. Her mom smiled at how charming he was._

" _Mrs Davis._ _"_ _Bucky greeted with a firm shake and smile._

 _She could tell by his strong handshake that he had been raised well. She exchanged looks with Daisy, who clearly looked terrified and expectant of what her reaction to him would be. She looks back at Bucky._

" _Daisy never mentioned your name._ _"_

" _James, mamn._ _"_

" _That_ _'_ _s a strong name._ _"_

 _Everyone looked up to follow the voice. Charles stood there tall and brooding, another cigar in hand. Bucky stretched out his arm once more, too eagerly this time_ _, "_ _Please to meet you, Mr. Davis._ _"_

 _Bucky waited as Charles stared down at Bucky_ _'_ _s hand, not taking it and clearly not wanting to anytime soon. Bucky stood there awkwardly, fear and rejection creeping into his guts. He slowly lowered his arm, Charle's gaze not leaving his face._

" _You live on the upper east side, too? What_ _'_ _s your Street? You_ _'_ _re dressed like a damn paper boy._ _"_

 _Bucky's face fell immediately and Daisy inwardly groaned._

 _Bucky licked his lips nervously and then fixed his back to stand taller as if to appear powerful. There was no way he was going to let this man tear him down._

" _No, sir_ _," He hates that his voice is shaky. He gives Daisy a nervous side glance and then back to her dad,_ _"I live in Brooklyn, sir_ _."_

 _Her dad frowned and both Daisy and her mother knew this was going to go down fast._

" _Brooklyn," his tone was disapproving, "What do you do for a living, boy?_ _"_

 _Daisy took a step next to B_ _ucky, "_ _Dad, that_ _'_ _s enough._ _"_

 _Bucky frowned and realized Daisy hadn_ _'_ _t really told them close to anything about him. While he understood, he was now dreading the whole entire conversation that would go down. Him and Daisy shared a look before Barnes looked back up at Charles._

" _I'_ _m in the military, sir._ _"_

 _Her dad raised an eyebrow as soon as the words left his lips, then a scoff. Daisy looked up to his her mother's face fallen and sad._

 _Bucky_ _'_ _s eyes darted between Daisy and her father, suddenly realizing that something that he said was not good._

" _Sir, was something I said -"_

" _Daisy, tell me hows a boy who doesn't have a real job suppose to be with my daughter? A goddamn soldier? Jesus."_

" _For heaven's sake, Daddy!"_

" _Charles, stop that!"_

 _Daisy's mother's angry voice made everyone go silent at once. Bucky felt small, wanting to fade away into the ground below him._

 _Charle's scoffed, tossing his cigar at Bucky's beat up dress shoes. It was the best pair he owned and even those were not his best. He swallowed hard, trying to not feel small and sad._

" _I'm gonna get Jimmy and then we can eat."_

 _Bucky stared down at the cigar at his feet, his heart feeling heavy._ "A goddamn soldier". _It replayed over and over in his head._

 _Suddenly, he felt a comforting hand on his back. He looked up and saw Daisy staring down at him, sad._

" _Just a goddamn soldier, Daisy?" He motioned upwards with his hand. "What is this?"_

 _Daisy looked down, "James, that's my father, okay. If anything, lets just be glad he didn't kill you. He's like that with everyone." That actually did help Bucky feel slightly better as he stood up taller. Daisy's hand reached up as she cupped his cheek, "And the soldier thing, he's weird about that. I'm not sure why."_

 _Bucky stared at her for half a second, doubting every word, before he simply complied and nodded. He smiled slightly._

* * *

The dinner was quiet and tense, and over much too slowly. Bucky had quickly pulled Daisy out into the hallway to say goodbye before he left, groaning into her mouth how he was never going back in there ever again. They both laughed and kissed.

And now here they were at the bar, the night before he had to leave. Bucky didn't want to leave, because he had a feeling that this would be one of the last few days he would have any peace and serenity. His gut was twisting and turning as he played with the strand of her hair between his thumb and pointer finger. As his gaze drifted from her lips to her blue eyes he just knew deep inside that this is exactly the kind of feeling he wanted to be feeling for all of eternity.

He felt it when he touched her, when he looked at her, and when he held her in his arms.

It was like a wave of fresh air that reminded him of home - Daisy was his new home. He knew it happened fast, they all did, but sometimes true love doesn't have to be complicated. When its meant to happen, it just simply happens. It's simple as that - as simple as him tucking her hair behind her ear and giving her that pearly white smile that made the cheeks on her face turn a crimson red.

She leaned her forehead onto his as he held her close by her waist, the piano in the background that was once haunting, now insanely beautiful exactly like the woman in front of him.

When Bucky had told Steve he might ask her to marry him one day, Steve thought he was insane.

" _You've known her for four days!"_

" _She's damn perfect. So gorgeous, so innocent, so perfect. She's a princess, Stevie."_

 _T_ hose words Steve said kept ringing in Bucky's head, even as he now held Daisy in his arms, but they meant absolutely nothing to him. She was his sanctuary, his **now,** and he would take it by the hand.

He would take advantage of these last few hours he had with her and he would pretend all is good in the world and it would stay that way. It had to.

He kept telling himself that so he, himself, could believe it. The truth was it was all going to go downhill, he could tell.

He knew that once he left for New Jersey tomorrow that he wasn't going to automatically be drafted into war, there wasn't a necessary need just yet. But his father had told him the speculations of how the US wanted to go after the Nazis, and he knew there was something else his father wasn't telling him, and it would not be long before hell broke loose.

That's when Steve and all the others would eventually be even more so analyzed and drafted, and so would Bucky - without a doubt.

Sure, he was courageous. It wasn't that he was scared to go, but he needed to be certain that Daisy would always be safe. He would surely miss the moments of having her in his arms, safe and happy.

Softly, he took her left cheek in his hand and rubbed his thumb across the top of her cheek bone,. He needed to take advantage of this moment that was staring them dead in the eye. He needed to. It didn't matter how fast it was, how much he wanted to treat her preciously, and how much he respected her faith. He needed her.

"Come to my apartment with me," he noticed her gulp and her mouth opened slightly. Daisy's mouth went dry and she watched his usual blue eyes turn a heavy grey. Bucky smiled slightly, "I don't want to seem like I'm making you do something you don't want to, but I just…" his voice drifted off as his gazed dropped slightly. His eyes became clouded with disastrous visions of the future. He blinked it quickly away, wanting to just see the image of Daisy underneath him. Just her and her pearly white skin and those gorgeous lips kissing him.

At that moment Daisy knew exactly what he was asking.

She was a virgin and she had mentioned that to him when they started talking about the topic of her faith. She technically wasn't supposed to be engaging in anything that was sexual before marriage to which Bucky simply nodded. At that moment, he decided he wouldn't be too strong on her nor mention anything of his past sex life which would surely leave her blushing. He loved fucking.

But as she stared at him right then and there, realizing this could be the last moment where they're both happy together and not having to worry about anything, she wanted just exactly the same thing he did. She closed her eyes tightly together and leaned her face closer to his, giving him a deep and sexy kiss on his top lip, biting it as she pulled away.

Bucky practically growled at her action, never seeing this side of her. Daisy was innocent, a classy lady, one that should always be treated as such. Sure, he knew of her passions for burlesque and lingerie (when she told him he had practically tried not to cum right then and there in his bed), but that was a dirty little secret that he concluded shouldn't be mentioned out loud. She was always that beautiful, young, and morally behaved girl that stole his heart.

When she let go of his top lip, which was definitely _throbbing_ now, he narrowed his lusty eyes at her and took it as a sign of acceptance.

She would be lying if she said she wasn't slightly shaking the whole time he walked her to his dungy little Brooklyn apartment. He looked straight _adorable_ in his little Italian flat hat and suspenders, his coat draped across one of his arms, the other holding her hand as he slid his key into all three locks of the door.

She swore she could see him shake a little too when they had gotten inside and he put his coat on the tiny kitchen table and he turned to her.

The room suddenly felt even smaller, the air between them hot and utterly thick.

He eyed her up and down and swallowed hard. She wore a beautiful black dress that covered every single part of her that he now wanted to see exposed to him.

Her lips were slightly red from the many kisses they shared on the way to the apartment, and her pinup eyeliner was so damn pretty as it shaped her eyes to perfection. She was damn gorgeous and she knew it.

He slid off his dress shoes and then walked over to where she was standing. Her heart hammered away in her chest as his stunning blue eyes traced her body. The moment he finally stood before her, he realized he didn't want to do with her what he did with every other girl.

He lifted his left arm to the side of her neck and watched her chest fall rapidly up and down. He grabbed her there lightly, and then slid it down the side of her body, eyeing the beauty that was simply _her._

"James."

"I'll be gentle."

He grabbed her right hand and pulled her along over to his bed. She looked down at him as he stared up at her, in awe and in love. She brought her hands to his face and touched his perfectly combed hair, smiling.

She stopped when he laid his hands over hers and brought it down between them. His face was now serious as he whispered, "Lay with me."

He wanted to make love to her tonight.

Did they and it was slow and tender. Bucky knew that he would forever live with the memory of her neck arching back against his pillows in pure ecstasy as he gently thrusted himself into her heat.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N. Mild SMUT. Mentions of sex and some masturbation (briefly) in this chapter…ALSO. There's only one or two chapters left that takes place in the 40s and then we're going straight to the good stuff guys. Where we will eventually meet Y/N….AHHHH. Also, I wanted to apologize for the delay of this chapter. This summer has been insane for me, and I knew it was going to be, so I hardly had time to write. But I'm good now..and I did not forget about this story at all. At all…ENJOY chapter 4! I'm actually pretty proud of this one - we're finally moving things along. I did kinda rush some parts, but it's only because it's not too important, and going into detail with it would just slow down the story. You'll see what I mean haha._

 _Thank you for the lovely reviews! It keeps me writing guys, so please give me some more feedback! :)_

* * *

Chapter Four

* * *

 _Echoes on the mind, laughs and great designs, lost in time._

 _ **A screeching scream of a child. Death.**_

Bucky had told Steve he'd be back soon. It wouldn't be too long - maybe a month, maybe even a few weeks. Bucky stepped onto the steam train and Steve and Daisy had stood next to each other as they waved him goodbye. The moment he sat down in his seat and the vision of the love of his life and his best friend became nothing but silhouettes, he threw his head back against his cold seat, taking a deep breath. He made a vow to himself that now was the time to make himself, his father, and his country proud.

The only thing he wanted more than his girl was to save the lives of every person he possibly could.

He took an additional deep breath, running a damp hand over his face. He stared up at the iron ceiling as the train swayed side to side and up and down over the slightly uneven tracks, making its way south.

He fidgeted uncomfortably as each horrible made up scenario of what could happen when he arrived went through his mind. He wondered if the chief and sergeant would agree that he'd be as fitting as his father in taking his place and if he'd make the best soldier he always wanted to be.

He took a deep breath and simply leaned his head against the glass.

His blue eyes watched as the scenery of green and trees became the last of peace that he had feeling he would feel for a very long time.

* * *

 _ **Wheaton, New Jersey**_

The train ride wasn't long; a little over an hour which was just enough time for Bucky to take his well needed nap. When he had arrived at the station, he had noted the Jeep he was told that would pick him up along with two others who were on bored. He didn't even bother to meet up with them while on board the train, wanting to take as much time to himself as he could, knowing it was probably his last opportunity.

The Jeep zoomed down a dirt road and through an intimidating metal gate. Bucky watched as young men ran around the perimeters, training intensely. Others were talking amongst each other as they took their break, sweaty bangs dangling onto their foreheads. They looked at him in curiosity as his car sped towards its destination, probably wondering what was so special about this guy that he had to get to where he was going so quickly.

Suddenly, the car came to a heavy jolt and a hand slammed down beside him on his seat announcing their arrival. He jumped slightly at the intrusion but took a deep breath and opened the dingy door.

As Bucky stepped off the jeep and into the dirty mud of his new camp, he knew he needed to find his uniform and combat boots as fast as he could.

He stared down in a slight grimace at his freshly destroyed dressed shoes - he had just gotten them shined. He scoffed to himself and dragged it's front against a random dry patch of grass trying to get off as much as he could. A young man jogged by, kicking some mud up onto Bucky's new pants. Bucky looked on at the man as he ran, a look of anger written all over his face.

From a distance (rom beneath a random tent that provided cover for a rest area, Colonel Douglas Smith watched in amusement the entire scene unfolding.

" _This_ is Barnes' son? _The sniper_?" He snarled under a grimace. He turned his head and gave Williams a disappointed look.

Another man -Williams- which sat to his left, looked towards Bucky's direction over his daily newspaper. He watched on along with Douglas and smirked as Bucky looked around, lost.

His eyes drifted to Smith and then back down at his paper, giving it a slight smack, "Yes, sir." humor tinted his voice heavily.

Smith shook his head in wonder as Bucky dusted off a piece of lint that was on his coat's collar, "He better be right about this, or I _swear to God_."

Bucky's eyes scanned his vicinity, eyes narrowing diligently. His eyes finally landed on someone who seemed to be who he should be looking for, judging by their attire and posture of authority. Also the fact that they had been looking at him first.

"He seems too pretty to be as good as the say."

"His father says he is the best."

Colonel Smith eyes Bucky up and down as he made his way over, sporting his new suit and fresh suspenders. As soon as he reached the two men, Bucky nodded at each one and took off his Italian flat hat, tucking it into his arm pit revealing a perfectly groomed gorgeous head of hair drenched in pomade.

He reached out with his right arm for the Colonel to shake with a bright smile on his face, "James Barnes."

"Colonel Douglas Smith," he nods over to the man sitting down who seems very busy jotting something dow, "This is Sergeant William of the 103rd."

"Colonel. Serg." Bucky confirms with a nod to each.

"Sit, boy." Colonel demands with a motion of his hand in front of him. Bucky politely abides as he pulls out a chair to sit himself down. Bucky places his hat down in front of him and takes a deep breath, "First, I'd like to give you my condolences."

Bucky momentarily stalls as his eyes drift back and forth between both men, but then clears his throat nodding, "Thank you, Sir."

"Your father was a great man. Quite a fighter, used to say he raised you from young to be the same way." Colonel eyes Bucky up and down. Bucky gulps, finally feeling the pressure he had been slightly dreading from the beginning. He knew they were expectant of him, and now he was here to prove it and he wasn't sure he had the balls of steels he had one day ago, "That true?"

Bucky clears his throat, "Yes, sir." He leans down to reach into his briefcase and pulls out a beige file. He puts it onto the table and slides it across to Colonel. Smith is impressed by his promptness and professionalism and sees William smile from his peripheral.

"What's this?"

Bucky clears his throat once again, "Dad trained me for many things," he took a brief glance around the base, "I experienced boot camp at the age of fifteen. I've done long races, obstacle races, everything that tested my endurance, boxing, running- both in rain and scorching heat. I've bled, I've learned not to cry and hold my own. I know tactics, I know what it takes to be a soldier, sir," Bucky notes their faces still hold no expression of amazement he was looking for and he feels his palms sweating harshly, "My father did it so I knew how to be strong and prepared for when the time was right."

Colonel Smith crosses his arms and leans back in his chair, not yet touching the paper in front of him. Bucky looked on in simple embarrassment from Smith to his folder, wondering if it was pointless to show as much pride as he did.

Smith's strong voice makes Bucky jump when he starts talking, "You think that because you've trained since you were a young boy, but clearly have no experience being on the front line, that you are an American Soldier?"

Bucky automatically becomes defensive and his posture becomes confident. He didn't like the nagging, the accusation of something he was _not._ That's when he realized, he needed to prove himself. He _was_ good, and they wanted to see it.

He leans closer to the table and crosses his hands out in front of him, "No, sir, of course not. Not yet," His voice was strong and clear. Colonel sat there waiting for what Barnes had to add, "I have no experience yet with being in war, not yet. But I have other experiences, first hand experience."

"And what is that exactly?"

"Guns." Both Smith and William now give Bucky their full attention, looking straight at him in total interest. Smith even moves up closer to Bucky.

Bucky is almost one hundred percent more confident now than he was ten minutes ago, because now he's finally talking about something he knows he can own up to well. This he enjoyed immensely.

"Sure. Your file we have here does show you are good with targets, that you know what weapon is best for what, that you helped your father when it came to assembling and re assembling them for the troops, and that you are great at knowing the anatomy of a gun but many here can do that with intense training. What do _you_ have that the others here _don't_ , James?"

Colonel was pressing now, and Bucky at that moment realized that what he was doing was not because he didn't see a reason to not trust Bucky, but more so so he could prove himself, and this was his chance.

Bucky looked Colonel Smith straight in the eye with a snarl. He slammed one finger down on the table in front of them, "I'm not just good with targets. I hit them _all."_

" _I do not miss_. This file," Bucky again slams his finger down on the folder in front of them, "There are diagrams, spread sheets, rough drafts, charts, and all my grades for every algebra, geometry, physics, and trigonometry class I've ever taken. All As. It also includes my use of Pythagorean theorems." Colonel raises an impressed brown and opens the file. His mouth is slightly agape as he reads on what is pages and pages of mathematical equations, transcriptions, and along with each a different weapon usage.

For a cocky good looking guy, Bucky was clearly very very intelligent - a closet nerd.

"I might no _be_ a soldier yet, but I'm already a good fucking sniper."

William and Smith are smiling now as they see Bucky in the way they wanted to, "Look, I'll go out there tomorrow if you need me to. Sure, I'm a kid, but that just means I have the time to learn more. I'm ready to fight."

Colonel stares at Bucky for a beat. He nods, takes the folder in his hands and stands up. Bucky looks up at him, "You will be here to assist Serg. William and I. And then we'll see where we take you from there. We want a hard headed kid here to help get these other guys in order." His voice was softer now as he spoke on, "Soon, we'll be out there in the real world and I feel you'll do fine, kid. Your health record looks great, I saw your previous training records here at the base and they are impeccable,"

"Thank you sir-"

" _but,"_ Bucky swallows hard. Smith hands the file over to William, "We want you to focus on shooting. And train these damn ass kids that this isn't just a game. William will escort you to your temporary room."

Bucky nods and stands up, a wide grin on his face as Smith initiates the hand shake this time, "Good luck, Kid."

Letters. Thats how he spoke to her for two years. He missed her, he missed Steve, and he missed school. He missed Brooklyn, but he missed _her_ the most of all. She was everything he had ever wanted and more.

They refused to lose touch, but it seemed to have gotten harder the longer he spent time away from her. He almost started forgetting what it was she looked like and he did not like that at all.

He hoped more than anything that she didn't forget what he felt like, what his cock felt like inside of her pretty self. God, he missed her so much.

He'd be laying down in the bunker after one of her letters where she'd admitted that she missed all of his body, and suddenly he'd find himself a panting mess, a hand wrapped around himself. No other women in his life made him cum as much as she did. She was perfect.

 _Dad has been gone for four weeks and I don't know why. Jimmy has gone with him- it's just me and mother. I overheard her saying something about Germany but I'm not quite sure.. Or maybe it was something else. Though none of that matters to me, James- I want you. Please come home to me._

He would pick up his pen and start writing.

 _Daisy,_

 _I'll be home soon, my love. I want and miss you, too._

For som reason a chill ran down his back as he reread the words " _something about Germany"_.

Like an awful memory that has never happened, he sees a child in front of him. It was a little girl and she screamed in agony for mercy. She was getting strangled to death by his own hand, a silver glint caught his eye-

"James!"

Bucky jumped up looked up front his lap from where he was writing to see Williams looking at him in curiosity, waiting.

"Be right there, Sergeant."

 _Take care of Stevie for me, Daisy. Be careful, both of ya._

 _Much love,_

 _Bucky_

* * *

 _ **Late 1940**_ **, Wheaton, New Jersey**

 _In the roaring 20s, life was as complicated as it could possibly get. There paper boy was out sick and there was no one to cover for him, so you would have to get home empty handed and stand in the corner as your mother scorned you for not seeing if the other boy at the other corner of Lexington had one and how now she had no idea what was going on in the world._

 _You'd open your front door and saw that the milk had gone sour because you over slept the short nap you took yesterday afternoon. You didn't wake up until the very next day._

 _Your father would spend his late hours drinking at a speakeasy you couldn't wait to partake in yourself._

 _Rebecca was the best little sister Bucky could possibly ask for._ _So much that he'd come home from school with his adolescent hands tied behind his back holding a little gift for her almost everyday._

 _She'd jump out in front of him with her little puppy eyes "Bucky!" She'd squeal, throwing her tiny arms around his shin._

 _Just her happiness made him smile so hard that his eyes would crinkle up at the sides._

 _After he'd hand her the little bag of chocolates and give her head a little ruffle, she'd say "Daddy says he's been waiting for you, Bucky."_

 _Bucky gave her a small smirk, "I know, just wanted to get my best girl her little chocolates first," he'd shrug his shoulder nonchalantly, "I am the best brother in the world aren't I?"_

" _Best brother, sure. But seriously, your father has been driving me mad. You were suppose to be here an hour ago." Bucky's mother had walked into the foyer, her voice taunting and dripping with discipline._

 _Bucky's smile dropped slightly as he brought a nervous hand around his neck, rubbing there. He would squint his gorgeous blue eyes and bite bottom lip slightly in fear. He always knew what would happen when he made his father late to camp. He remembers the last time when his father made him run 5 miles non stop through the heavy downpour. Right after, he'd have him slouch under the barbed wires purposefully making it lower, making him cut himself various times. His hot tears would mix in with the rain, making it essentially pointless._

 _It wasn't that his father was evil, but he was strict. He said it was to help him build character over what matters most and to make him strong._

 _Bucky still remembers the first time he held a gun. It was as if a part of him that was missing was finally in its place. And his father caught on too - he was born to be a sniper._

" _One day, you'll be the best. Maybe even a better man then me." His dad had said as Bucky climbed up the thick rope that hung on its lonesome in the middle of the empty room._

 _He hadn't even made it halfway before he felt like he was going to throw up. But he kept going. Eventually over time his stamina built up and he was climbing up to the top with no struggle, just determination._

 _Bucky knew that it would be years before he even made it into the army, but for now he'd use his building strength to protect his best friend. This was also all for him._

" _Stevie got punched again today." Bucky had commented during one of his boxing exercises with his father._

 _His father frowned slightly, "You ain't into that boy are you?"_

 _Another blow to the bag._

" _What?!"_

 _His father eyed him up and down diligently, "You and Steve. I mean, you always talk about that kid like…"_

 _Bucky stopped and took a deep breath, bringing his wrapped hands up to his chest. The fabric around the knuckles were brown and worn out. Not that him or his father was ever against men that were into other men, but the fact that his dad actually thought he was into Steve made him want to laugh._

" _No, dad. I like girls."_

" _Yeah? Then how come I don't ever see 'em?"_

" _I'm a kid dad. Can we talk about this later?" Bucky felt his face getting hot by the second._

 _Truth is, when Bucky was a teenager, he was actually quite shy. He liked girls but it took him a couple of years until he actually had his first kiss. It wasn't until he was 17 that he finally had a girlfriend, and to be honest, they weren't too hard to come by for him. He knew he was gorgeous, and the girls knew that he knew it. They were drawn to him like a moth to a flame._

 _He lost his virginity with his first girl - her name was Dot. And it was embarrassing._

 _For the most part, he had no idea what the hell he was doing. He knew what he wanted to do, but for some reason he kept chickening out. He was petrified._

 _He remembers she was laying underneath him, legs spread wide, and he sat awkwardly back, kneeled down between her as he fucked her for about 20 seconds before humming with a low whine in the back of his throat. She had merely laid there and she didn't even cum._

" _It's ok," She'd say comfortingly to him as she rubbed his back later on -thirst seconds later, really-. He looked away from her in embarrassment as he sat on the edge of her bed, "it was your first time."_

 _After that day, he swore to himself he'd be the best fuck any girl would ever have. So much, he made a reputation for himself. Week after week, a new dame._

" _Anywhere to be, beautiful?" He'd ask under his beautiful long lashes. They would blush and give him a definite answer, following him out the door of the restaurant._

 _Eventually he was so good that the girl below - or above - him was begging him to give them a break to breathe. They would scream for him._

" _God, doll, you're fucking perfect." He'd repeat to all of them as he groaned. He would bend his head down and capture them in a deep kiss that made them cum again._

 _Bucky was twenty when he got his first apartment by himself in Brooklyn. He hung out with Steve most of the time and the other time sleeping around. He wasn't there long before his father mailed him a letter asking him back in to assist him at the camp._

 _And that's where it all began. Young men knew of the tension going on in Europe, the nazis, the potential war that would erupt, so they all started getting ready. Bucky was beyond prepared, which terrified him, and Steve was even more so willing- which scared him even more._

 _They took some small extra curricular activities together at an all boys school in Brooklyn and Bucky would spend most of his days trying to get bullies off Steve's back._

" _You gotta stop trying to the a superhero, Stevie. Whadd'ya gonna do when i'm not here? Get yourself killed?" Bucky would ask, throwing his arm around his best friend's shoulder as they walked to their next class._

" _I'll win one day, Buck." He has responded, "You'll see."_

* * *

A loud shotgun blast brings Bucky to the present. He's standing in front of the men, showing them how to correctly calculate the wind and kickback of a PPSh-41. Ten iron cans laid on the grass as Bucky allowed his gun to swing back towards him. He smirks and slides it back into place in the holster around his waist.

"Johnny, you're up." Bucky would announce each boy's turn until they've all managed to hit all targets. Some of them taking more thirty tries each to succeed.

As much as he'd try and teach them how to properly shoot each and every gun they had on hand, it was evident that they'd never be as good as him.

But there were good in other aspects, some of which actually reminded him of Steve back at home.

"Faster." Bucky would demand as he walked in front of them as they did fifty push ups each. He knew they could handle it.

Williams and Smith watched from afar as Bucky's men eventually became some of the strongest and most courageous they've seen in a long time.

They shared a knowing look and Smith gave a small nod.

Bucky's gaze drops from the men he'd grown to love down to his feet. He didn't expect to be there for two years. He didn't think he would go that long without seeing Daisy, but they ended up loving having him there.

Within weeks he had the entire infantry under his finger. At first, he wasn't too keen on yelling at them at what to do and how to do it, but with time he realized it was for their best and they realized that too. He was actually not a complete asshole when it came to bossing everyone around, but to be fair it mostly had to do with the fact that they were all not too much younger than him either, some even older.

It had been Friday night when Bucky had everyone in their bed by 8 o clock, without a complaint or disobedience.

Bucky sat in his little office under the vintage desk light as he was reading one of Daisy's latest letters, where she spoke about how her father had come home briefly but was quickly leaving for Siberia within a few weeks and how much she was dying to hold Bucky back in her arms again.

She kept begging and begging him non stop.

Bucky's face was crestfallen as he wrote back that he promised he would be back, and that he had to talk to her about something special when he saw her again for the first time.

Truth was, he was going to ask her to marry him. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her even if it was from such far away. Bucky was tucking the letter into the envelope when someone cleared their throat from his left.

His head snapped and he smiled when he saw it was colonel Smith.

"Bucky, mind if we speak for a second." Bucky nodded his head and tucked the letter in his back pocket. Colonel noted this with a nod, "That for the lady?"

Bucky smiled slightly, although it was also sad, "Yeah. Miss her,"

Colonel patted a hand on his shoulder, "I know, kiddo."

They were about to go into Colonel's office when Smith turned around. Bucky practically walked into him, not expecting him to stop so suddenly in his path. Bucky's face was serious and he felt worried at the tension that quickly grew, "What is it Colonel?"

Contemplating before speaking, he looked over Bucky's shoulder, "The men love you," He looked back at Bucky, "You're good. _Really_ good."

Bucky should've been proud at his words (he was slightly) but he could tell something was going on. Smith's tone and his eyes were off, something was clearly up.

"What's going on?"

Colonel looked down. It looked like for a second that he was going to back out on telling Bucky. But clearly this wasn't something anyone could control anymore, "They want them in."

World War II had merely started about a little over a year ago. Nazi Germany was at its peak and troops were being sent out constantly. Bucky knew there were several infantries being sent in, along with the heavy draft. Bucky had spoken to Steve back at home and Steve kept mentioning about the guys all being deployed out, but not all. They were still trying to recruit more as the time came, seeing who was eligible and who wasn't. Bucky tried to convince Steve as much as possible to quit trying to join the army, to stop lying on his forms to get accepted.

At their base, they were training until they were to be pulled out.

And now was the time.

"But that's not what I want to talk to you about."

Bucky's heart plummeted for a fraction of a second. He wondered what else he possibly had to say.

Colonel turned into his office and allowed Bucky to follow behind. Bucky closed the door behind him, reluctantly and with a hard swallow.

"There's a group being deployed in two days. To England, the 107th."

Bucky's heart jumped into his throat. Pride filled deep within his gut and he tried to contain as much excitement as he could.

Smith went around his desk, "We agreed that you're more than suitable to be deployed as well. So you'll be with them."

Bucky smiled. It was finally his time. It wasn't just his men, but him as well, "When?"

"A couple of weeks. The week before you'll be allowed one week at home to see your friends," Colonel looked at the letter that was peaking out behind him, "and your girl." Bucky felt like he was going to cry from excitement at this point. Colonel's face was still serious, "we want to assign you as an official Sergeant."

The earth seemed two have shifted for a moment while Bucky processed the words. He couldn't believe they would want him to serve at that level. Bucky's brows raised in surprise as he stood motionless. Soldier he always knew he would become one day, it was practically in his blood, but "Sergeant?"

"Yes, sir." Smith crossed his hands out in front of him and stared up at Bucky, hopeful, "I knew the moment you started talking that you were different. You're good, you're loyal, you're a true born soldier just like your father always said you were. You wouldn't dare lay a hand on something unless they were worth it. You know how to take charge and you're willing to be on the front line."

 _That same image of a tormented child being strangled to death by a hand flicker's through his minds eye, except now the kid is thrown against a brick wall, completely deceased._

Bucky swallows hard, "My men, they will be with me?" He knew the answer because he was already told up front but Smith but he needed to be sure. He needed to know all of them would be there by his side when he killed Schmidt.

"Yes. Drafting starts soon, son. You'll be home for a little bit to say goodybye." Smith smiled, "Go get your girl."

* * *

 _ **Brooklyn, New York**_

He'd made sure all their beds were made before they all left to say goodbye to their loved ones one last time, and he made his as well. What good Sergeant would he be if he weren't the best example, if he were a hypocrite?

He hadn't told Steve nor Daisy that he was coming home- wanting it to be a surprise. He stepped off the train, a tailored uniform, his new Sergeant cap on his head, and a pin on his left chest. He was ready.

A sharp wind blew in from the west, making him frown slightly in pain. The January air burned him like fire, but yet gave life at the same exact time. This was reality and it was like a slap to the face. He was here to say goodbye.

Bucky had grabbed a paper from the boy at the train station and saw something about Howard Stark's Expo and he felt like a little boy all over again. He loved Howard Stark, to be frankly honest he was quite a nerd for it. Not only did he make the best weapons that Bucky would love to have his hands on one day, he loved how smart and genius he was. How he was never afraid to reach the unreachable and to do what no one else had the guts to. He would kill to meet him one day and just tell him how amazing he was.

So he had to go his expo before he left. He was ready to see his best friend and his girlfriend and that's exactly who he was going to go with.

Bucky had been walking excitedly from the train station to Steve's house, but he was not expecting to see him getting beaten up by a gentleman in an alley outside a theatre.

Anger blew up inside of Bucky as he ran towards the scene, "Hey!" He called out, grabbing both of their attention.

When Steve saw Bucky his eyes lit up.

Bucky grabbed the bully by his collar and kicked his ass while Steve watched from the corner of the dirty alley.

"I think you like getting punched."

Bucky said as he helped Steve off the floor.

"I had him on the ropes."

Bucky decided not to comment anymore on how Steve needed to lay off and instead wanted to spend the last few hours he had with his best friend and his girl. He told Steve about how he was sergeant now for the 107th and that he was leaving for England in the morning the next day.

But he was also excited to share with Steve the one thing that Steve knew Bucky loved the most - Stark. When Bucky pulled out the newspaper that showed the expo that was happening that night, Steve notices the fanboy smile written all over his face. He couldn't wait to pick up Daisy so they could all go.

When Bucky and Daisy saw each other for the first time, he had spun her around so hard her dress spun with her. Bucky kissed her so hard and she cried as she told him how much she missed him.

Steve just stared back in boredom.

"Are we going, or…?"

They both giggled and Bucky punched him playfully on the shoulder, "Come on, punk."

The three of them walked into the expo. Steve was looking around in awe while Bucky had the biggest grin on his face as he held Daisy's hand. She wore a beautiful dark drey below-knee dress and brown leather oxford heals and her lips were coated in the most beautiful shades of red.

It was everything Bucky had ever dreamed of. Stark literally blew his mind, especially when he brought out the beautiful to die for women and then make a car fucking _fly._ Even if it was for just a second.

Bucky's heart soared.

Daisy looked up at him wonder and she watched his face light up in pure happiness. She didn't know someone could be so beautiful and that she could love someone so much. She raised her right hand up to his face as a firework went off behind his head in the sky. It was blue - the same shade of his eyes.

He wasn't expecting that gesture from her in that moment, so when he felt her soft little fingers on the side of his face, he snapped his head down to look at her. Her smile faded as he gave her a look of pure want.

She traces his lips with her thumb and leaned her head down on his chest. Her heart soared even more as he brought her to him in a tight embrace. He kissed the top of her head and then told Steve that they should call it a night.

Steve gave Bucky a tight hug and told him to be safe.

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Bucky warned him with a smile.

When Steve split ways with the couple at his door, he knew exactly what they were up to. He was happy for his best friend, he just hoped they weren't too emotionally involved more than anything. He didn't want to see Bucky get hurt.

He looked at his best friend with a weird sorrow. He wasn't sure why something in his gut was telling him that this happiness, this simpleness, was going to be very short lived.

When they had gotten back to his apartment, he had her against his door and his lips were on hers.

This was it.

Snippets of that flash of that dead child kept hitting Bucky over and over as he kissed Daisy up against his door.

He tried to get rid of those images as much as possible as he grabbed her gorgeous legs, pulling them around his waist.

That seemed to have done the job perfectly because he felt himself growing hard for her.

"Please." She pleaded desperately over his lips. He pulled away from her for a second and just stared at her beautiful face trying to take it all in. Reality hit them like a truck as he caressed her cheek with his thumb. This was goodbye, for a while.

He leaned in slowly, and this kiss was different. It was love and care, and so much need. A need for forever. He felt tears building behind his lids as the thought of never getting the chance of holding her like this ever again tried to take over his brain. She tightened her legs around him, her hands going to the straps of his belt.

"God, I missed you, Daisy," He moaned against her mouth. He brought his right hand between her legs, pushing her panties to the side. He slid one finger from her clit down her slick slit and her head fell back with a thud against his door. She groaned out loud at the sensation that wracked through her body, " _missed this pussy_. Missed the sounds you make. I love you so much." He growled against her.

She ran her hands through his hair and pulled his face away from her neck to kiss him deeply again. She nodded against him as her hips met the rhythm of his hand, confirming that she felt the same way.

"Please take me, James."

He walked them over to his bed and gently laid her down. She stared up at his lustful eyes, her lips swollen from his kissed, and her dress bundled up at her waist.

Bucky didn't waste two seconds to pull it off her. Next she helped him pull off his uniform jacket and shirt, revealing his gorgeous abs that she wanted to lick over with her tongue. Next she removed his pants.

She slowly tucked her fingers into the underside of his underwear as she bit her lip. It was obvious that she was teasing him.

"Just take it off." He ordered.

She did as told and practically whimpered as his hard cock was reveled to her. She sat up and reached behind herself to unclasp her bra.

When he saw her perky breasts, he leaned down and kissed her once more. The first time they had sex it was different. It was innocent and timid, but now that he knew her body and she wasn't so shy anymore, it was more carnal. The first time was about opportunities and their future. But _this,_ this felt like goodbye.

"I can't wait, Daisy. I need you." He confessed as he laid her down all the way. She nodded against him understanding.

He stretched out his left hand to hold onto the headboard while the other grabbed his pulsing shaft. She spread her legs and he slid into her with a long moan.

He looked down at her and watched as she arched her neck back in pleasure, the nails of her left hand digging into his sides.

"Faster." She moaned.

The other thing that was different about this time was how fast it was. The first time it lasted for almost an hour, they had made love in the most sensual way that left his skin crawling. This time they were both so close so fast, they just needed that release due to being away from each other for so long.

She was practically screaming as he fucked her fast and oh so deliciously into the bed below her. It was so good that after only a few minutes she was looking down at the spot where they both met, her lips formed into a perfect o.

She started nodding quickly, "I'm gonna cum." She cried. Bucky groaned as he twitched inside of her, his pleasure growing just as strongly as hers. He was right behind her. He put his other arm up on the headboard too, letting his restless hips do all the work.

All that was heard in the room was the sound of skin slapping on skin and their moaning.

He picked up his pace as he stared deeply into the blue orbs. When she shut her eyes she let out a silent scream, and he felt her clench around his cock.

That did it for him, "That's it. _That's it_ …" he whimpered.

He increased his speed until he felt his own end approaching, and it was going to be strong. When it did, he groaned, tightening his grips on the headboard, making it bang against the wall behind them. He continuously slammed his hips harsh against her.

" _Fuck."_ He groaned slipping out of her. She watched in awe and as he stroked himself so fast his hand became a blur - little spurts of white falling over her pretty tummy.

His eye drifted back to her face and he watched as a smile played on her lips. Her face was extremely flushed as she bit her bottom lip in a way that made him want to take her again. He chuckled lightly. It made his heart heavy, and he knew that now was the perfect time to ask her what he had been wanting to for the last two years.

He let go of the bed and laid himself next to her. He placed his left hand above her hand and the other on the side of her face. They watched each other in complete love before he kissed her long and hard.

When he pulled away, she felt him slightly shaking and noticed the look of nervousness in his eyes. She swallowed hard.

"Daisy," he whispered. He traced her features with his hand, and just like that the fear escaped his eyes and instead of scared he was now feeling complete love and he was ready because knew this is what he wanted forever. He wanted _her,_ "Will you marry me?"


End file.
